Blood Sparrow
by gogogeisha
Summary: Shepard has defeated the Reapers, but what happens after? What happens when a Cerberus offshoot gets a hold of her and tries to use her as a weapon? Rated M for violence and adult situations. Garrus romance prevalent in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: This is an idea I had been playing around with for a little while now… So I sort of decided to write it out and run with it. This is a bit of an AU since I obviously (heh) didn't like the actual ME3 ending. Reviews are always welcome!**

**Also, thank you so much to Bluereplica for pointing out some mistakes and coming up with some ideas on how to make this chapter and chapter 2 flow more smoothly, and adding a bit more detail so that there weren't so many "why would they do that" moments.**

Shepard had destroyed the Reapers… And apparently survived. She almost felt like she was lied to by the little glowing brat, she certainly felt like she should be dead judging from all the places that hurt on her body.

Lying in the rubble, she heard voices all around her. She wasn't sure where she was, or who was around, but she was glad to know that if she was dying, she wouldn't be decomposing for long before someone was able to find her and tell her family, her loved ones, that she had died in the blast; assuming there was anyone left to tell.

Shepard had briefly located Garrus, shot by Harbinger, in a pool of his own blood as she made her way to the beam. Her heart clenched as she realized he was probably dead. Well, she wasn't that far behind him, now was she?

The voices grew closer as she allowed her eyes to close, now wouldn't be a bad time to just die. She could do so knowing that she was going to see at least one person she loved shortly. As she let the darkness take her, she listened to the voices as they grew nearer, more distinct.

"Sir, I found her! She is apparently still alive, though in bad shape."

"Hurry, get her to the vehicle, we need to get her to the lab now, before the Alliance finds her."

… Alliance? Then who were these people? Shepard couldn't keep her mind focused enough to wake up fully, and she had a bad feeling about this. She felt herself being elevated, but she couldn't force her limbs to move. Within a few seconds she was completely lost to the world around her, her dreams taking her as she felt herself let go.

* * *

Shepard awoke in what seemed to be a surgical room, her head aching almost as much as the rest of her body. She tried to open her eyes, but it was difficult with the light in the room, she felt like she was a kid again trying to wake up too early in a too bright room. After a few moments of struggle between her and the too bright light, her eyes finally adjusted and she looked around, she was alone in what appeared to be a hospital room. That was when the confusion set in, this room was pristine. Hadn't most of the nearby area been completely decimated?

Her head throbbed harder, if that was at all possible, as she tried to regain her bearings. She was surprised as someone who appeared to be a doctor came into her room, looking just as surprised as her that she was awake and coherent. The older, graying, man seemed to consider her for a moment before speaking. Shepard hadn't been inclined to say much – to be quite frank, she was just now realizing how badly her throat her and she wasn't confident that speaking would be a task in and of itself.

"I see that you're awake, Commander. Do you know where you are?"

She simply shook her head, her eyes hiding any emotion other than confusion. _Where was she, why was she here? Wasn't she about to die? _

He considered that for a moment, she couldn't decide if he was formulating a lie or what, but when he spoke again she noted that his words seemed to be very precise and controlled.

"This is a research facility. We have been working on healing you for several weeks. You should know that you defeated the Reapers, we all owe you a great debt of gratitude. However, it was not without great cost – your entire team was lost. You're in a refugee camp, the other council races have started to try and take over Earth. It is a very dire time indeed."

Shepard couldn't wrap her head around what he was telling her, everyone was fighting each other now? She had just sacrificed everything to save everyone, and now they were attacking each other? It didn't seem plausible, it didn't seem right. Shepard wasn't even about to focus on the fact that her _entire_ team was dead. She couldn't, she needed some answers and now. Forcing the air through her lungs, she forced the pained words out of her mouth.

"Wh… Why are they fighting? Who is trying to fight?"

He simply stared at her as she spoke, a gentleness coming over him at the pained words. He knew she was probably still sore from having the feeding tube removed, though he wondered if that was all there was to it.

"Mostly the Turians and the Krogan, with Earth so deeply ravaged, some splinter groups have taken it upon themselves to try and take over segments of the planet for themselves. With the council currently occupied with their own worlds, and much of each race on Earth to assist with the fighting, much of the turmoil here is going unnoticed. We, this camp, have taken it upon ourselves to fight back."

It still didn't make sense to her and he quickly noticed the furrow in her brow. He wondered briefly if he was going to have to go to plan B. Walking over to her carefully, he discreetly prepped the syringe in his surgical coat. He would have her cooperation, one way or another.

As the Doctor moved closer to Shepard, she felt her doubt overrun her. Normally, she would've kept such things to herself, but for some reason she felt the need to voice her disbelief.

"After everything that the galaxy went through to destroy the Reapers, everyone coming together – I don't believe that they would turn on each other now."

He seemed to relax at her words, a knowing look coming over him. He sighed as he brought the syringe to her IV, quickly injecting the liquid.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Shepard, because you will join us – you will help us. You will obey."

Shepard struggled briefly, she hadn't reacted quickly enough as she attempted to rip the IV out of her arm. She was ashamed at how easily the Doctor overpowered her and held her down. She felt whatever he had injected into her work its way through her veins, her eyes felt heavy. Slowly, painfully, she drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

Shepard had been at the facility for a few months now; she was learning her place in whatever organization this was. She was certain it was an organization and not a refugee camp, everyone was to well armed, to well trained. They were rehabilitating her, and training her… They had upgraded her biotic implant and added a control chip into the mix. They had more plans for her than just making sure she was healthy and strong…

Shepard eventually discovered that this group wanted nothing more than to destroy anything that wasn't human – like Cerberus. They put her through the paces, training exercises, simulations – If she argued they would activate her chip and blinding, unimaginable pain would rocket through her body. Eventually, she would black out only to reawaken being shown a vid of how they had controlled her while she wasn't fully conscious, showing her that even if she fought, they would still get what they wanted.

The idea sickened her. She was being used, again, this time worse than before. At least before she had some semblance of freedom – now she was to be a weapon… A well-honed weapon with no self-control or moral compass other than that of the person controlling her, and from what Shepard could tell, that person was a psychopath.

They were systematically breaking her down with their trials and pain. She knew this, but having the knowledge that this was what they were doing and being able to stop it were two different things. She knew that they were still at the stage where they were trying to program her to act the way they wanted, the real abuse hadn't fully started… Her handler, Bernard, kept eyeing her in such a way that she knew that there would probably be more torture to come; torture of a completely different nature.

She just had to give him an edge on her, and that was something she was going to be very sure she did not do. The man gave her the creeps on so many levels that she was loath to even be in his presence. Between his wandering eye and penchant for disgustingly disturbing jokes, Shepard was certain that she would not be alone with this man if she could help it.

As it was, she could still fight for herself, Bernard hadn't been given control over her chip. That privilege was left solely in the hands of the Doctor, Dr. Felstein. He activated the chip when she wasn't listening; he deactivated it once her task was done. No, she was not going to give Bernard a chance to gain something on her, a chance to back her into a corner.

Eventually, she was brought out on a few missions to observe. These "missions" were nothing more than a slaughter fest. She had found out that wherever this base was, it was far away from London where she had first been discovered. How the group found her before the Alliance did and secreted her away without being found out was a mystery to her and Dr. Felstein didn't seem to want to share the information, if she had to guess she would say that they had an inside person with the Alliance who kept any search crews from entering the area where she was found.

If she had to guess to where she was now, she would say she was somewhere in South America, or Mexico. This area was less densely populated than where the Reapers had been focusing their attacks and therefore was apparently where this group decided to hide and wait out the attack – all the while allowing their group to build up a force strong enough for guerilla warfare… And that was exactly what she was witnessing in now.

They would travel discreetly in small, quiet transports to areas just outside of Alien camps. The camps always seemed to have little to no organized guards. The group would then go through and slaughter every man, woman and child that they could find… And then after their slaughter games were done, they would force Shepard to walk through the camp. She wasn't expected to participate, just to desensitize herself to the brutal violence this group was inflicting. To her horror and revulsion, she found it slowly working on her. Each camp got easier to walk through, each atrocity was less likely to bring the bitter bile from her stomach.

Shepard was almost to the point where she would be expected to fight with the group, she knew it. She wasn't sure how her first real test was going to play out, but she knew she was going to fight them every step of the way. She hadn't survived this long to be a tool, to be someone's weapon. She had her own mind, right? She could certainly over power the control chip over something that disgusted her this much, right?

* * *

Shepard would always remember this day… It was rainy… She was dropped off with the kill squad somewhere outside of Seattle, there was a small alien camp there. Dr. Felstein actually decided that today he wanted to witness her in action – with the remote to the control switch firmly at his side. She walked with the ground team to the edge of the camp, it was mostly Turians with some Humans and Asari, probably mates.

She hesitated only a second before the blinding pain of the chip shot from the base of her skull down her spine and over her body. She felt herself scream before the darkness took her… Her biotics flaring as she morphed from the controlled, sane individual she knew herself to be into the murdering puppet they had conditioned and built her to be.

When Shepard regained control of her mind, she was standing in the middle of the camp… Blue and red blood covered her body, her face. She realized suddenly that she was clutching a young male Turian's throat in one hand. He was long since dead. Shepard abruptly dropped what was left of the man and hurled herself away from the body. Before she could fully analyze what she had just done, her eyes moved around the area of the camp that she was in. So much carnage, so many lost lives lost so pointlessly, lost to her hands.

Shepard felt herself start to tremble, the transformation was complete, she had lost all control over what she once was. She was no longer a hero. As her eyes scanned the bloody battlefield before her, her gaze falling on women, children who were struck down violently as they ran, she knew now that she would never be able to regain who she was again. These images would haunt her for eternity.

* * *

Shepard had become accustomed to the routine, she always fought the control, always fought the slaughter. She always lost in the end. It was becoming a game, almost. To see how long she could resist before the darkness took her and she was driven into her catatonic state. They had even managed to, judging from the vids she was forced to watch of her slaughters, get her to react like she was actually aware of her actions. They had started having her use a sniper rifle to pick off people running from the camps, just outside of a biotic attack range. She wasn't just all biotics and death, in fact, she nauseatingly reminded herself of the phantoms and snipers that Cerberus had once created, she was agile, deadly with a gun… She was a creature straight from the Illusive Man's Cerberus Hell.

It wasn't until they had reached a particular camp, on some nondescript day that Shepard rediscovered something to actually fight for. In the middle of her blood lust, when she was supposed to have no control, she stumbled on a sight she had seen many times before; a young male Turian, probably only 5 or 6 years in age, clutching to a toy. It reminded Shepard of a teddy bear, only a Turian version. The similarity shocked Shepard to consciousness as she stared at the kid – he was crying. Of course he was crying, she had just slaughtered half the camp, many more people were running away screaming to get away from her. She had probably slaughtered his family.

She walked towards the kid, unsure of why, but feeling drawn to try and comfort him. Reaching out, she picked him up – he seemed to sense that she was no longer a threat and he threw his arms around her, crying into her neck. The blatant trust in her that this kid was showing moved something inside of her, she had just been killing everyone and just because she picked this kid up, he had seemingly decided that she was no longer dangerous. She ran her fingers over his small fringe, hoping that the gesture was comforting. She'd be damned if she proved him wrong to trust her now.

Without a second thought, she walked with new purpose back to the shuttle. She was going to protect this kid no matter what. She stopped just outside the camp, her eyes immediately falling on Felstein, daring him to do something about her unspoken decision. The Dr. seemed to understand instantly what she was saying and with a sneer of revulsion, he activated her control chip.

She gasped and groaned, falling to her knees, but she never took her eyes off of him. She would not lose this time, she would fight even if it killed her. She fought with a new found mental strength to keep her control. She knew she could easily die by fighting this much, but she would be damned if she was going to be the one to kill this kid still clutching to her neck.

Felstein, seeing the fight still present in her, realized lazily that this could actually work to his advantage. In allowing her to keep the child, it gave him something to control her with, something that he could easily take from her. He shut off the chip after a few minutes, seeing that she was apparently going to fight this to the death. No, he would allow her to keep her pet.

Bernard seemed to have the same thought process as he grinned maliciously at the woman and the kid… He was finally going to get to enjoy his operative the way he wanted.

Shepard knew this was only going to bring her more trouble, but she couldn't help but feel that she owed this kid something. She looked at the kid who was still latched to her and shaking, and a soft smile spread over her lips.

* * *

The kid watched her smile in awe, she had just been in a great deal of pain and now she was looking at him in such a tender way that it caught him off guard. The kid noticed the effort the woman put into keeping her voice calm as she asked him his name, he felt it only right that she should know it since he swore to himself the moment the other humans started doing something to cause her pain that he was going to protect her no matter the cost.

"Fallon." He answered softly, his eyes wide as he stared into the crystal blue eyes of the human in front of him.

At first she was an angel of destruction and death, glowing blue and killing all in her way… And then she had become his savior, her rage quelled as she lifted him up and simply left as if that was the entire reason she had been there. He had no love for the people in the camp, he was barefaced and the child of an exiled Turian woman. He had no clan and his mom had simply left him in the camp as she passed through.

Shepard smiled, her voice cracking a bit as she introduced herself right back, "Nice to meet you Fallon, I'm Eva."

Eva was his new mom, he made the connection instantly as she made an obvious show to the other humans that he was off limits to whatever they had planned. She was already doing more to protect him than his biological mother ever had. He would be damned if anyone ever tried to take her from him.


	2. Chapter 2

Garrus sighed as he pored over the reports from the recent alien-centered attacks. The group called themselves "The TF"; he supposed they were the updated version of Terra Ferma, the predecessor to Cerberus. He wasn't surprised to see that some alien hate group was attacking the refugee camps, it was more of the brutality of the attacks that was surprising – he had never seen anything like it. No one was left alive, even the humans that were in the camps. Of course the camps were predominantly alien, but it wasn't uncommon to see humans mixed in with friends and family.

Garrus was busy trying to find the main hub for the group, something that they could focus on to get a strike team in, or even an undercover unit; anything that they could do to try and disrupt the group's operations and to find out how they are killing so many, so brutally, and so swiftly.

Everything was a mess after the destruction of the reapers, the citadel was a mess, the mass relays were malfunctioning and to top it off, many of the big cruiser ships were out of commission for repairs. The relays were scheduled to be back online in a few more months, the citadel clean up and restoration was apparently on schedule and many of the cruisers were planet-side for repairs. But, with all of this happening at once, there were a lot of combatants and non-combatants stuck on Earth.

The Alliance had asked that a few of the Hierarchy and the Krogan help with locating the group since the Human government was busy with their own rebuilding and refugees, and resources were stretched thin as it is. Garrus was the first to volunteer from the Hierarchy and Grunt followed suit from the Krogans. With the two of them showing their support for the effort, many others of both species gladly volunteered their time as well.

It had been 8 months since he had last seen his Shepard. For the first month or so, all Garrus could do was scower the destruction near the beam to try and find her – they even had teams searching the Citadel. Anderson's body had been found near the activation point for the Crucible, but that was all they had found. There had been absolutely no sign of Shepard. Briefly, Garrus had thought that he had smelled her blood, but he could never pinpoint where it was coming from. Urging from Liara and James had finally convinced him to stop his search – he had lost her again. Losing the one you love twice in a lifetime was almost more than one person should have to endure. Garrus was doing just that, enduring.

Focusing only on the rising attacks was keeping him sane at this point, after? He didn't know what he would do. It had taken him months to get a grip on his emotions, and that was only done through stress release. Sex and sparring. Luckily for him a female Turian had volunteered for the latter stress relief activity. Venaea expected nothing of him other than the occasional tryst; it was exactly what he needed. She knew he was emotionally unavailable and him being a General now, he was out of her league for anything else. Whenever Garrus would go to meet with the woman he would feel a pang of guilt – what would Shepard say about all of this? She'd probably kick his ass… But she was more than likely dead. If that were the case she'd want him to move on… At least that was what he told himself.

Garrus' mind was pulled back to the task at hand when a report caught his eye; a civilian had stumbled upon a large camp in the Panama region of Central America… The area had been hardly touched by the Reapers and the civilian had noted that there were a lot of defenses around this camp – and no affiliation towards a refugee organization and abundant pro-human graffiti on the retainer walls. He would have to send James out to investigate, it was the closest thing they had to a lead.

* * *

The nightmares were the worst, Shepard had concluded. Waking up, screaming and grasping at air, feeling like she was covered in blood from those that she had slaughtered. She always felt the need to shower after her dreams… Luckily, Fallon insisted on sleeping in bed with her. Neither he nor she trusted Bernard not to hurt him while he slept.

The only nights he didn't sleep with her were the nights when Bernard would come to collect his dues for Shepard being allowed to keep the kid safe… Those nights, Fallon would stay in his room and Shepard would take whatever Bernard had to dish out. Sometimes he would just want sex, most nights he wanted to humiliate and beat her, it was apparently how he got his kicks. The only rule was that he couldn't cause lasting damage, though with her cybernetic upgrades the likelihood that he could cause such injuries was unlikely.

Felstein openly allowed the abuse, feeling that it was another way to control Shepard and eventually, Shepard stopped bringing it up during her medical check-ups. There was no point, no one was going to stop it and she couldn't kill her handler without losing Fallon as well. It was the price she paid for the kid's safety and once she realized that, she simply quietly accepted it. Fallon was her family now, her adoptive son; of course she would endure Hell to keep him safe.

Shepard was not only intent on keeping Fallon safe, but also educating him both about Human culture and Turian culture – at least what she knew about it. When she wasn't out practicing the illusive art of being a mass murdering zombie or making camp-wide public appearances at the club, she was homeschooling Fallon.

Since he wasn't human he wasn't allowed to go to the camp school, though she didn't really want him to if he could. While the camp school taught the basics in education, they also focused heavily on anti-alien rhetoric and Shepard didn't want to alienate Fallon any more than he already was. To his credit, he never questioned Shepard on why most of the other children and adults treated him differently. Fallon was a bright kid and Shepard was fairly certain that he knew that this camp was not big on diversity.

However, despite the lack of hospitality, Fallon seemed to thrive under Shepard's care. He grew more social and more capable, even amassing a small group of friends. If the more hateful kids gave him any issues he merely politely stood up for himself, he defended himself when necessary and he remained respectful to those who were not respectful to him. Shepard had taught him a great many things and the two most important lessons that he could apply to his everyday life were these: Know how to fight well, and that no situation is permanent. Every time Fallon had a rough day Shepard would always say that she was going to find a way for them to escape and have a better life.

Often Shepard would tell Fallon stories of a woman who had travelled the galaxy, helping her friends and saving everyone. Shepard called this woman the Commander and she would often tell Fallon the stories of the Commander's adventures while he was winding down for sleep. He particularly liked any of the stories about missions gone wrong, his most favorite was about a Turian named Archangel, though he wasn't sure if the story was his favorite because Archangel was the only Turian (out of many species) in the story, or that he and the Commander were in love. Only once did Fallon ask what had happened to the Commander, why she wasn't helping them now. At the time, Fallon didn't notice the sad look that passed over Shepard's face as she answered simply, "She died, she saved everyone but herself."

Fallon seemed to mull over it for a bit before saying reverently, "Then the galaxy is less for her loss." The statement had taken Shepard by surprise and she balked back a bit, staring at the child with a bit of awe, she had to struggle not to cry. For some reason his statement both ripped at her heart and filled it, it had been a while since she had been praised for her actions, but she didn't want to disappoint Fallon by claiming ownership of who she once was. Now she was a weapon and a sexual plaything for deviants, she didn't need to show him how far people could fall. Not now anyways. No, instead she simply hugged him to her and hummed a made up tune until they both fell asleep.

The organization was getting bolder, they were starting to attack camps with an active military presence. Shepard, on more than one occasion, noted that this was starting to feel less like slaughters and more like full blown warfare. They had made sure to alter her armor drastically, and add a cloaking device. Her face was covered by a hood, and with the cloak she was invisible until right up on people. Apparently she was good at it as well, judging from the video footage she was made to watch.

To her horror, the organization was getting bolder with their message, throwing out data discs with artistically edited footage of her slaughtering soldiers and civilians – her features obviously hidden to avoid someone figuring out who they had. She was their propaganda tool, and it made her sick. They would leave the discs anywhere they travelled, garnering more support than she cared to see.

Shepard was strictly informed not to voice her dislike of both her role and the organization's goal to anyone who asked – though that didn't mean she had to be nice to them. No, she was known as an ice queen, a cold hearted bitch, to anyone except the Turian child. The fact that the only person she seemed to be nice to was an alien child did not go without question, especially considering her job within the organization; but newcomers were told not to worry about it and that the fact that Shepard had a Turian pet was none of their concern.

Shepard sometimes wondered if she truly was as big of a hero as everyone claimed she was, because no one in the camp had recognized her as being _the_ Commander Shepard of the Normandy, of the Alliance. She was simply known as Eva, short for her first name Evangeline. Everyone addressed and knew her as Eva; even the Dr. didn't slip and call her Shepard anymore. Fallon didn't even know her last name, though she thought him too young to know who Commander Shepard was and what she looked like anyways.

She never walked around the camp hidden from view; in fact it was quite the opposite. She regularly went out in shorts and a tank top, not bothering to be flashy for her misguided "fans". Shepard supposed that since no one was looking for "Commander Shepard" in this place, even if they had seen a picture or a vid of her, they probably wouldn't make the connection here – no one, except someone who had been close to the Commander.

Shepard had questioned the practice of keeping herself hidden when Felstein had ordered her not to divulge who she was and in a rare show of honestly, Felstein simply stated that he didn't need the Alliance snooping around trying to get their hero back. It made a sick sort of sense to her, why broadcast that you had a war hero fighting your sick crusade? It would cause anyone who wasn't committed to try and sell her location to the Alliance, or to add new fire into the investigations regarding the group.

* * *

James Vega had been sent into a godforsaken jungle somewhere in Central America, near Panama, to infiltrate a seemingly anti-alien colony, a huge anti-alien colony. Garrus had a hunch that this was the base of operations for the TF, and truth be told, there wasn't a better spot for it. Who in their right mind would want to trek all the way down here? In this weather! It was so humid that his clothing stuck to him in uncomfortable and unattractive ways. He was sweating constantly and could never feel clean. No, he preferred a beach to this kind of a place… A beach with gorgeous women and cold beers.

It didn't take much, once James found the colony, to actually get in. All he had to do was give some spiel about how he hated aliens because his ex-wife ran off with an Asari commando before the Reapers hit and somehow everyone accepted him in. He was shown around the camp and given small living quarters, though they seemed to avoid his questions regarding a group that may be acting against aliens. He played it off like getting to that group was his real goal because he "really wanted to show a few aliens who was boss." It wasn't his best line ever, but they all got a laugh out of it and he received a few pats on the back.

The guys giving James the tour did mention that he should head to the bar slash club in the camp though, it was apparently the weekly party night for everyone and they assured him that he would find a lot of hot and available women there… And there was an open bar. That fact alone had James ready to party it up with a bunch of bigoted people, booze could make anyone tolerable.

The only thing that threw him off was that the resident "Ice Queen" was going to be there, and she was apparently a sight to behold, though they warned him that she was something akin to a harpy and was only nice to look at, not talk to. Still, it piqued his interests enough that he was ready to see this woman that had men both in awe and avoiding her, maybe he'd teach these pendejos a few tricks on getting into notorious Ice Queen's panties. This day was getting better by the moment.

* * *

**a/n: Updated on 5/15 to reflect some changes regarding the flow of the chapter and some holes that were not properly addressed.**


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard actually liked going to the club, it was the only place in the camp that had alcohol, and alcohol could soothe the soul. Bernard always ensured that Shepard looked the part of the "Badass Beauty Queen", as he sometimes put it, by having ample amount of clothes for her to choose from. With no sense of endearment, she sometimes likened herself to his giant Barbie doll, minus the blonde hair and the big tits.

It was always a part of her own little scheme to make sure that she wore what _she_ wanted and not what he would pick out for her. He hated it, and if he didn't find another bed to schmooze in for the night, she would most definitely feel the repercussions in the morning for her continued defiance. This night would be the same as the others, she was certain.

She picked out a simple outfit of a pair of khaki shorts and a black, loose shirt with some strategic ties in the back and a pair of "gladiator" style sandals. She was comfortable and still managed to feel like she was "putting on airs" about her appearance, it was all Bernard was going to get from her. She wasn't there to pick up a hot date, she wasn't trying to impress anyone, she just wanted to get some booze in her system and survive the ritualistic ordeal ahead of her.

Luckily for her, many of the men in the camp had long since given up trying to approach her about… well… anything. She was not social with the group, since most of their conversation was about "the cause", and the cause was not something she was particularly friendly with. Essentially, it was safer for her to simply be a bitch and avoid everyone for the night, while pretending to be a part of the group. It was all about the illusive _balance_. She even had to chuckle at herself for that line.

Just like every other Friday night, Shepard would leave Fallon a key to a trap door she had made in their little bungalow style jungle house so that he could escape if Bernard decided to get too feisty one night and try and teach either of them a lesson. She would also go over their "safe plan", which pretty much included a safe way for him to escape the camp and how to find another civilization while surviving in the wild. Unfortunately, the plan only worked for him, since he was still small and could fit through some of the small cracks in the perimeter wall.

Shepard had no delusions of leaving the camp, she would get him to safety and she would stay here to reap what she would sow with helping him escape. She was always conscious of Fallon's future over her own, since she was fairly certain that at this point, she had no future.

Shepard mentally pepped herself up and then proceeded to make her way to the club, she liked to get there early so that she could get her desired corner of the bar and get a head start on her friendliness with the beer glass she was going to be entertaining for a long while tonight. Grabbing a pack of cigarettes, they were her own little "fuck you" to Felstein, if he wanted her healthy, she'd fuck over her own lungs just to spite him, Shepard made her way to the club.

* * *

James had to wait for the guys from earlier to come and get him from his bunk, he wasn't familiar enough with the camp to navigate his way to the club just yet. They had apparently been busy with something because they didn't come and get him till well after the sun had set, and it annoyed him to no end. Punctuality was something that he prided himself on, and he tended to expect it from other people. Especially when it came to clubbing. He wondered if he could even call this clubbing? Sure, it was the closest thing that counted this far out in the middle of nowhere… and there would be ample amount of alcohol, or so he was promised. But still, he mulled over the semantics of the term clubbing while the group of men made their way to the party.

By the time they had walked from what James could only describe as the "starter barracks" to the actual bar, James had realized that this compound was deceptively huge. They had passed a gated off area with a surplus of military vehicles, both current and outdated, and another area with individual wood and tin roofed bungalows. The bungalows actually looked pretty homey for being out in the middle of a jungle, miles away from an actual real settlement. The only part of the compound that looked state-of-the-art was the giant concrete building in the middle, which piqued James interest immensely as to what the building was used for.

He didn't have a whole lot of time to ponder on such things, however, because as they entered the bar his senses were immediately overwhelmed. There were people _everywhere_, he didn't even know this many people lived in the compound, or where they stayed if they did. He wondered if maybe there was an underground facility as well, that was the only logical solution to this many people coming out of the woodworks for an apparent private party.

Again, he didn't have much time to think on it. James was about to make his way to the bar when he noticed a familiar figure making her way out to a balcony off the side of the club. It took him a minute to register what was familiar about the woman, though, and even when he did… Well, he still didn't quite believe it. What would _she_ be doing _here_? Everyone on the Normandy knew that Shepard was a xenophile, so why would she be in a camp full of xenophobes? More importantly, why wasn't she trying to get back to her particular xeno?

James didn't even manage a proper "be back in a bit, guys" to his companions before he started off after her. He marginally recognized hearing one of the guys, he thought his name was Tanner? Mention something about "the ice queen's tractor beam" before James was out of earshot. His heart was pounding, he was nervous as all Hell walking out there. What if it had all been a mistake? God he would feel like an ass, and he would have to reopen his whole "lost your friend and role model" wound again.

* * *

Shepard had stepped out to have a cigarette, she had brought a beer plus one with her because she was already annoyed with the night. The bartender was being an ass and she was in no mood to deal with playing nice today. He had mentioned something about pulling the carapace off of a Turian's head just to rile her up… and goddamnit it worked. Now, she had placed herself in time out to avoid ripping what remained of the man's hair off of his scalp so he could have glimpse of what that might feel like. That type of behavior wouldn't do for the "champion of the xenophobes".

She begrudgingly realized that she wasn't alone shortly after lighting up her cigarette, she hoped her "I don't give a fuck about you" pose would work on getting rid of the other person, she was too busy leaning over the railing and staring off into the dark forest that could be seen on the other side of the wall. It wasn't until she unmistakably heard, "Shepard" and "Lola" in the same disjointed sentence that she abruptly stiffened up and turned around.

Sure enough, there was James Vega standing on the balcony, staring at her as if he had seen a ghost… Seen one and was still struggling to accept it. She supposed that seeing her would be something akin to seeing a ghost, it had been almost a year since she had last been seen by anyone who knew her, she was fairly certain that everyone would have thought her dead… Wait… Her whole team had been declared dead.

Shepard distinctly remembered the beating she got for bringing up her team and demanding to know what had happened to them! She wondered who else was actually alive?

She coughed a bit, clearing her throat, before attempting to casually greet the stunned man in front of her. Judging from how sheepish her voice sounded, she had failed miserably on the casual front, and cringed at herself for her effort.

"Hey, Vega…"

She didn't know how she was supposed to feel, seeing someone who she had been close friends with appear after thinking they were dead, but all she felt was trepidation. She wasn't some hero anymore, she was a mass murder, a puppet. What the fuck would he say when she told him _that_? She didn't even know what to say to him, a "how's life" seemed a bit too casual given the circumstances.

* * *

James couldn't really comprehend what he was seeing. Lola, Commander Shepard, was standing in front of him. Smoking a cigarette and well on her way to plastered. She looked like he had remembered, maybe a bit more worn in the face, but still his Commander who he followed into hell to save the galaxy with. And worn or not, she was still beautiful, her dark chocolate hair was still in its customary shoulder length cut, her eyes were the same vibrant color of blue… The only difference he could note was that she seemed to have lost a bit of weight – something he didn't think she could do, and had developed a scar that he could see the tip of over her shoulder barely touching her collar bone, and the tale of wrapping around from her back to the front of her hip… He mentally noted to ask her how she got that later.

A few emotions played through his brain at once, first was pure curiosity on why she was where she was, the second was anger at her for letting everyone think she was dead for so long, and the third was pure relief. His friend was alive.

Before he could get any questions out, however, Shepard's attention had shifted and he swore he could see her clench her jaw in a way that usually meant that she was frustrated or worried about something. He didn't have time to react before she walked over to him and wrapped her arms suggestively around his neck.

To say that he was surprised would be the understatement of the century.

"Don't react, I promise to explain everything but for you to survive this you need to act like you're trying to pick me up. In a few minutes we'll leave and go back to my place."

She brought her face far enough back to send him a pleading look before another man entered the balcony with them. James didn't miss the defiant look Shepard shot the man before asking him brusquely what he wanted.

The man was an asshole, James hated him instantly though, it was hard to tell if the hate was for the man himself, or how Shepard reacted to him. Everything she said from the simplest question to the statement about her taking him back to her place seemed laced with defiance. _Wait, I'm going back to Lola's place?_

The other man simply grunted and gave James a good looking over before heading back to the party. Shepard grabbed James by the hand and lead him back through the bar and out the entrance, apparently back to her place.

James didn't miss when the guys he had come with all stopped their talking instantly and gazed upon him like he were a God for having the "ice queen" lead him out of the bar by the hand… Well, at least that's how he told himself they were looking at him.

He had tried to get Shepard to talk a few times on the way to her place, but she always forced him to shut up by accosting him in some way usually via her lips pressing against his. He wondered briefly if that was still a part of their rouse.

* * *

Shepard was dumbstruck, had been since James waltzed onto her balcony. It didn't help that Bernard apparently was going to try and piss all over his territory the minute she didn't abuse the man attempting to talk to her. She knew she would pay for bringing James home to try and talk to him about what he was witnessing, but damnit, she paid for pretty much everything she did. She was fairly certain that even had she behaved from the beginning she would still be paying in the same fashion.

Fuck it.

James kept trying to open his big mouth to talk about what he had stumbled in to, and there were just enough people snooping around the corners for her to be worried about people overhearing and her making a scene about shutting him up. The only real way left for her played right into their rouse of going off to get busy, so she kissed him, harshly, every time he tried to talk. She wondered if he had finally gotten the point after the third or so time.

When they got to her bungalow, she checked the kitchen area and living area for any interlopers before checking on Fallon to ensure he was asleep, and he was… Snooring away. She felt herself relax a little bit, almost forgetting that she had an awkward moment, or twenty, ahead of her. That was, until James had popped his head over her shoulder to see what she was staring at and proceeded to shoot Shepard a quizzical look before she moved to close the door and shove him into her bedroom.

Once again, she checked out her small window before turning to James.

"I know you probably have a shit ton of questions, so let's have it."

* * *

James was uncertain of where to begin, it was obvious to her, but he quickly snapped himself out of it and fired of one question after another. As soon as she answered one, he would ask another. She wondered how much of her answers he was actually retaining.

"How long have you been here?"

-"Since I disappeared in London."

"How did you get that huge scar?"

-"I got hit with Harbinger's laser before getting to the beam. It's part of a burn."

"Why are you here?"

-"I'm not here by choice, they keep me here as their puppet and prisoner."

"Why haven't you tried to contact us?"

-"I have no way to contact the outside world, and normally newcomers aren't allowed to meet me unless they're 'fully committed to the cause'" (and yes, she did the quotation fingers on that one.)

"Who's the kid?"

-"I adopted him, his name is Fallon."

That question seemed to take James by surprise for a split second, but he quickly recovered. He had asked his petty questions, not for the big one, now for the reason he was actually here.

"Is this group the ones responsible for all of the attacks on the refugee camps, and now military camps?"

-"They are."

He watched her gulp at where this line of questioning was going, he had to wonder what her part in all of this actually was.

"How are they killing so many?"

-"… Me."

If his jaw could have dislocated to the floor at that moment, it would have. He even asked her to clarify and she repeated that she was the main killing force. He couldn't believe it… His Commander Shepard was a mass murdering xenophobic monster! He began to shake his head, trying to unhear what he had heard, his brain trying to fit all the pieces together, but they weren't fitting right. She had a Turian adoptive son, why would she attack aliens? She had been in love with a Turian General, the very same General who had sent him on this mission. Most of her closest friends with aliens, it didn't make sense.

* * *

Shepard had watched the revulsion, confusion, and contemplation rush over James' face as he considered the information she had given him. Finally, he seemed to settle on just plain confused. Shepard sighed, leading him over to the bed so he could sit, she thought he looked a little pale and she wondered absently if he was going to pass out. Placing herself on the bed next to him, she sighed and stared at the wall. Might as well spill her guts to him, he was the only one who knew her before and she supposed that he had a right to know, that whole thinking she was dead thing had her feeling a little guilty.

She told him of how she awoke, what Felstein had done to her and had told her, what she was forced to do, how she had found Fallon, and how they controlled her. She left out some of the nastier details, but she could guess by the expressions flowing over his face that he had understood, or at least caught the gist of what she was trying to not say.

She didn't even notice the tears flowing down her cheeks until he grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. He had apparently been talking to her after her lengthy confession, but she hadn't heard a word. She was too ready for the rejection, too ready for him to either kill her for her actions or leave. She didn't expect what she saw when she looked upon his face. Determination, she saw determination staring right back at her.

"We will get you out of this Lola, you and the kid. I swear to you that I will get you the fuck out of here and away from this place. I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: Just a warning, at the end of this chapter there is mention of sexual violence. I didn't go into detail because, frankly, I don't want to describe it. But, it's still implied and I feel that there should be a warning before I throw that on you guys. Either way, enjoy!**

**Also, while I wrote the final part of this chapter I was listening to Nero's "Cracks". It's a good song to kind of theme Shepard's mental state at this moment.  
**

* * *

Fallon woke up to hear unusually subdued voices coming from Eva's room; it sparked his curiosity since normally if she was talking to anyone it was that asshole Bernard. Fallon hated his mom's "handler". No, hated was too light of a word… Fallon wanted the man to be flayed alive. Either way, the voices coming from her room were too cordial and too friendly to be her and Bernard. Curiosity quickly overwhelmed his better judgment and propelled him out of his room and into hers.

Normally Fallon respected his mom's wishes for him to not come into her room when someone was there. He knew why she had asked such a thing and why she was forced to withstand whatever Bernard inflicted on her – it was for his own safety and she didn't want him to see whatever it was that Bernard did to her. However, tonight he inexplicably felt that it would be safe for him to interrupt whatever was happening.

Opening her door, he had been surprised to see a complete stranger sitting on the side of Eva's bed with her, her face firmly clasped between his hands. The looks on both of their faces stopped his alarm in its tracks. Neither individual seemed to be upset or attacking the other so there was no reason for him to rush to her defense.

His mom's face instantly looked to his own when he walked through the door and she smiled softly to him before pulling her face out of the giant man's hands. Fallon didn't remember seeing another human male as bulky as this guy. The bulk awed him slightly and also made him very curious as to what the man did for a living that would require such bulk. Before he had time to truly weigh career choices through his head though, his mom opened her arms to invite him over and he found himself rushing to her.

"Fallon, this is a very good and close friend of mine from long ago… His name is James."

Fallon looked James over slowly as he clambered into his mom's lap trying to assess if he liked James or not. The fact that James had known his mom a long time ago meant that he probably had a lot of cool stories to tell about her and that fact in and of itself made Fallon decide that he would give the human a chance. Fallon's decision was further cemented when James looked at him with no hostility which was something that Fallon wasn't used to from males in this camp. Fallon felt no hesitation in asking James the first question that fully solidified in his mind.

"Nice to meet you, James… Are you here to save my mom?"

* * *

The question took James only briefly by surprise, the kid scored major kudos with him for the simple fact that he was aware that Shepard was in danger and that she required saving. James chuckled softly and nodded instead of answering. The kid seemed to be pleased by his silent answer because he abruptly yawned and told Shepard that he was going to go back to bed. She simply nodded and kissed him on the forehead before he made his way sleepily out of the room. James was awestruck by the gentleness in Shepard's gaze and actions. To be honest he had never seen a look on her before.

Garrus would be beside himself right now…

James wondered if he should tell Shepard that Garrus was alive… And that he had apparently moved on. James hadn't originally blamed the guy for finding another tail to chase, but now that Lola was alive… Well it didn't sit right with him now that he knew that she was alive. Never being one to keep things to himself he decided to just tell her.

"Lola… Garrus is alive too."

James watched Shepard tense at his words and she refused to look up to meet his gaze. He watched her visibly gulp before she muttered "Is that so…". The question it seemed was a rhetorical one because she didn't add anything more to it. He wondered why she didn't seem more enthused, or even curious. He wanted to press her about it and to tell her more details about Garrus' actions since she was pronounced MIA, but before he could she had turned to look at him. Her face was a mask of neutrality as she posed a question to him that would throw him off kilter for the umpteenth time tonight and he quickly forgot what it was he wanted to tell her.

"James, do you want to stay here tonight?"

* * *

Shepard had posed the question as more of a security measure to keep their earlier rouse solidified… However, she also was loath to let James go just yet. She had been so long without an actual friend that his presence was more reassuring than she expected. When James cautiously agreed she was relieved and proceeded to change into her sleep wear. Completely ambiguous to the fact that James was still in the room she stripped down and changed into shorts and a tank top. James followed her lead and stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers with her.

Shepard wiggled herself against James' side and hugged herself close to him. She wasn't sure if she was making him uncomfortable at first but her worries were quickly quieted when his iron force grip took hold of her and held her tightly against him. There was nothing sexual in the embrace, simply two people reaffirming that they were there for one another. It was something Shepard had forgotten that she wanted.

He was snoring in no less than two minutes and had she not been so relaxed she might have chuckled at this behemoth of a man snoring like an old comedy. She was quickly getting tired, but her mind was rushing around at a mile a minute… Garrus was alive. Her heart had initially shuddered and crawled into her throat when James told her. Her lover, her other half, was alive. Then the horror overtook her. She was killing aliens on a weekly basis. She was quickly becoming the mass murder of their era. If she ever got out of this camp she had no hopes that she wouldn't be tried for her actions. A mass murder and a Turian General were not normally looked highly upon as a love match and she doubted that he would even want to risk it with her.

Moreover, Shepard was being sexually violated on an almost nightly basis. Who would want someone with that kind of emotional baggage? Granted, Shepard felt that she was dealing with the trauma relatively well. She still felt like she was ruined from the experience though.

With these kinds of thoughts running rampant through her mind sleep was long to find Shepard and when it did finally find her, nightmares were there to greet her. She almost would have been relieved to find that her nightmares were no longer about blood and death except for the fact that now they were about rejection and repulsion. She just traded one sleep horror for another.

* * *

James woke with a start; he had apparently forgotten that he had fallen asleep with the great Commander Shepard pressed tightly to his chest. Sleep apparently was not enough to ease his grip on her because he woke in much the same position as he remembered being in when he fell asleep last night. James allowed himself to simply bask in the moment for a minute. It touched something inside of him that she had kept the same grip on him all throughout the night. That place it touched, however, was not something he was going to analyze right now.

Carefully, James disentangled himself from Shepard and suppressed a chuckle as she sprawled herself out over the bed where he had been. He quietly cased the rest of the house to assure that there wasn't anyone else in the house (other than Fallon) before he opened his omnitool. Typing in the proper security protocols to prep the secure transmission James prepped a letter to Garrus informing him that he had infiltrated the right group and that he would need a pick up for himself and some secure cargo. He wasn't sure why he had left out the fact that he had found Shepard alive… But he convinced himself it was because it would be a conversation better in person.

James busied himself around the hut trying to figure out the best way to get Shepard and the kid out of the compound as quickly and safely as possible. He could find a dozen ways to get the kid out… and a dozen for one of the two adults to get out… But never all three at once. He would need to wait for Shepard to wake up to go over ideas with her, she was the tactician out of the two of them afterall.

* * *

Shepard woke alone in bed. Normally that wouldn't send off alarm bells but considering that she had fallen asleep with Vega… Well she was curious as to where he went to say the least. Stretching her way out of bed she walked into the living room and was slightly surprised to find Vega there sitting on the couch and looking rather perturbed.

"What's on your mind there, soldier?"

She probably shouldn't be calling him that in this situation, but old habits die hard and she was easily slipping into old patterns with him. Internally she reprimanded herself even though James didn't seem to care either way. Instead he told her of his multitude of ideas regarding their escape. She had to admit that she was a little surprised at how quickly he was planning on getting her and Fallon out of the camp. She never doubted that he had meant what he said about saving her but his speed about the whole ordeal made her chuckle.

She had spent many hours of her own time going over escape plans for both her and Fallon and she already knew that there was no way she could get out with the two of them. Placing her best calm expression on she explained to James how this rescue was going to have to go down.

"James, there's no way I can go with you and Fallon."

He had started to argue but stopped when she raised her hand to him.

"Let me finish. There really is no way, not with this control chip." She briefly motioned to the back of her neck, "The moment they activated it I would be a danger to both of you and anyone else I was around. I'm not going to do that as a 'rescue'. You need to get Fallon out of here so they have nothing holding me and… Wait, is Miranda still alive?"

Shepard was quickly discovering that a good portion of her "dead" team was actually alive and Miranda had ample experience with Cerberus control chips. Shepard doubted the one in her head was much different than the ones Miranda was used to so therefore she would be the best candidate to remove it.

James nodded at her question and a smile broke out over her face despite herself.

"Good, get in contact with her and have her ready. She has knowledge around control chips and her expertise will be needed to remove mine. Felstein has already told me that we'll be attacking the Alliance's military camps and if you give me a way to contact you… Well, I can tell you when we're going to hit whatever one you're at. When that happens all you have to do is subdue me and have Miranda remove the chip… Easy peasey."

She was severely underplaying the ease in which this would all work out and James was well aware of this fact. They both knew that subduing her would be a task in and of itself. However it was the only way Shepard could foresee getting her out of this hell hole. Besides her main concern was getting Fallon away from here and away from danger – her own life was forfeit long ago.

* * *

James didn't like the plan one bit but he had to agree that there was no other alternative… At least none that he could see. She was right that escaping with her still having the control chip implanted would probably end disastrously but he was finding himself getting more and more protective of her. He convinced her to let him imbed a tiny long-range camera into a knob in the wood wall of the shack overlooking the living room area. It wasn't much but at least he could show Garrus when he got back to base that he wasn't hallucinating about Shepard. It was also a quick way for her to communicate with him if she needed to, so it served a double purpose.

Everything would go down at night and the plan was flawless. Flawless except that Shepard's plan involved her distracting her handler, Bernard, in order for Fallon and James to escape properly. Shepard was going to have to help James over the wall and then she was going to do whatever it was she needed to with the handler to keep him distracted long enough not to notice Fallon's disappearance. Hopefully she could give them long enough to get the few miles to the rendezvous point with James' extraction team.

James noticed the look on Shepard's face when she mentioned distracting Bernard and he was suddenly thankful that she was not vocalizing whatever plan she had. He had no doubt that it would make his and Fallon's escape more dangerous because he wouldn't be thinking about what they were doing and would instead be focused on her. No, he decided that whatever she was planning she knew she'd be safe and that's why she was doing it. He convinced himself of this fact as they moved to get ready for their escape.

A few hours later Fallon had been brought up to speed on what was going on. The kid was understandably against leaving his mother alone in this place and James couldn't fault the kid for the minor tantrum he was throwing over it. Shepard had eventually calmed the kid down enough to get him to see reason and to James' surprise she pulled her Alliance dog tags out of a drawer next to her bed and slipped them over the young Turian's neck. She mentioned something about good luck as the kid stared at the tags. James wasn't sure that the kid really knew what they were, but they didn't have time to really go over the significance of the pieces of metal.

With everything in place Shepard and James made their way over to the wall. Fallon had already slipped through the hole near the ground and Shepard was going to use her biotics to hoist James up and over the fifteen or so feet to clear the wall. He knew this was going to hurt like a bitch and he was reminded of a time he tried to get out of a girl's bedroom window before her father found the two of them… He had left that fall from the second story with a bruised ass and a nearly broken clavicle. He didn't doubt that this fall would be much the same, only with more momentum.

With one final nod between the two of them, James ran towards Shepard and proceeded to leap into the air. He just had to clear her shoulders with his jump and had apparently succeeded. One second he was confidently leaping like a ballerina from hell and then next he was soaring over the fence with all the grace of a cat escaping water. With a pained grunt and the sound of a few broken tree limbs James landed on the other side of the fence.

He had to lie on the ground for a moment to truly regain his equilibrium before he jumped to his feet and made his way to Fallon. He hadn't even spared a glance backwards to the camp because he knew it wouldn't do him any good. He couldn't see Shepard through the fence and he knew that she would've left the moment she knew he had cleared the fence. She was off to do her part in the distraction and she would be confident that he had held up his side of the bargain.

It was fairly easy to located Fallon with the directions Shepard had given him. Once he and the kid were together they made their way to the rendezvous point. It took a few hours of working their way through the dense jungle but eventually they found their way to the cloaked shuttle. James had been impressed with the ease in which Fallon moved through everything, Shepard had trained the kid well. Climbing in to the vehicle, James finally let himself relax enough to think back to Shepard. He was tempted to look at the feed from the video camera he had placed but something told him he should wait until he was far away from the camp.

* * *

As soon as James was over the wall, Shepard made her way back to the house. It felt empty. She hated the fact that Fallon wasn't there, but she knew that this was how it had to be. The kid needed to be away so that Felstein wouldn't have a hold over her while she tried to escape. She now had nothing tying her to this camp, to Felstein. Once she let that knowledge was over her she felt a little lighter and she worked to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to do. All she had to do was sit and wait for the club to close for the night.

Shepard was disgusted with the fact that Bernard was so predictable. The moment the club let out he had drunkenly made his way to her hut. She had been reading a book, or pretending to, in the living room while she waited for him. He met her gaze briefly before stalking over to her. He didn't even have the decency to drag her into the bedroom before he begun with his ministrations. Backhanding her with all his body weight, he threw her to the floor and mounted on top of her. He was laughing as he tore her clothes off of her.

Shepard had already forgotten about the camera on the wall, it was so well hidden against the wood that even the light never caught it. Had she remembered, she might not have been so antagonistic towards Bernard that night. She might have stopped the tears that flowed down her cheeks as he finished rutting over her beaten body. She might have stopped the sadistic laugh that escaped her throat when Bernard realized that Fallon was gone. She might not have struck Bernard when he went to take his anger out on her a second time before altering the camp like he should have done when he first realized that she had planned this.

Instead she worked to push him further and further over the edge. She was distracting him for hours before she finally passed out from the abuse and he had finally satiated his anger on her. She had given Fallon and James hours to get away from the camp and as she let herself fall into unconsciousness she took pride in the thought that she would be out of commission for Felstein and Bernard for a few days. She chuckled internally at her last masochistic thought before blackness… _Totally worth it._


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: Sorry, this chapter was a little difficult for me to flesh out. I've been thinking of this story for a while and while I have the main storyline mapped out... Some of the transitions from scene to scene haven't been fleshed out yet. So trying to flesh them out (I like that phrase today) can be a little difficult. **

**Either way, I hope you all enjoy and as always feedback is always welcome and adored!  
**

* * *

Garrus had been impatiently waiting for the shuttle to arrive. James' message about finding the camp and subsequently needing a pick up with special cargo had him on edge. Whatever it was it had James rushing out of the camp so fast that it had to be important. Garrus tensed even more when the shuttle came into view and he quickly made his way to the edge of the landing pad. Whatever Garrus had readied himself for, it was not James exiting the shuttle with a Turian child asleep in his arms. No, Garrus certainly wasn't expecting _that._

"James, what in the world is going on? Who is the kid and why did you need to be picked up so quickly?"

Garrus noticed James think on whatever his answer was going to be for a long moment. The fact that James was thinking about his answer before giving it was also unnerving to Garrus; James had never been big on thinking before speaking in the past. Whatever James had found it was apparently enough to give him pause. James seemed to come to a decision before remaking eye contact with Garrus and requesting to put the kid up in his bunk before they debriefed. Garrus nodded his compliance before something on the kid caught his eye. The Turian kid was wearing human dog tags… it was unusual to say the least but what was normal about this entire predicament?

Garrus found himself staring at the pieces of metal around the kid's neck, the light catching them in just the right way that he could make out a name on one – "Shepard" – Garrus stopped as a choking sound escaped his throat.

* * *

James stopped walking immediately and looked back to the General as he was caught off guard by the noise. James followed Garrus' gaze back to the dog tags and sighed in frustration. He didn't know why, but the idea that Garrus already knew before he told him anything was frustrating to him. Now the General was going to be expecting more answers than James probably had answers for. He supposed a good portion of his frustration was stemming from lack of sleep and that he had to leave Shepard behind, not with the General's overly perceptive nature.

"Garrus, I promise I will explain everything… I'll meet you in the debriefing room. I don't think you'll want anyone else there either."

James didn't even wait for Garrus to give a response before he stormed off towards his barracks to let the kid sleep in peace. James was apprehensive about playing back any feeds from the camera he had left in Shepard's room. Something about the look she had on her face indicated to him that he would not like what he saw.

After putting the kid down and murmuring some awkward words of comfort to get the kid to settle back to sleep, James made his way to the debriefing room. Garrus was already there and seemed to be trying to control his anger. His stark blue eyes riveted to James the moment the door open and it was not the first time the Lieutenant felt uncomfortable in the angry Turian's presence.

* * *

"James, what the _hell_ is going on!"

Garrus couldn't help his anger; the kid was wearing _Shepard's_ dog tags. How would a kid on another continent get the dog tags of someone who went missing across the world! James moved to sit down and Garrus listened as the young Marine told him everything about what he had found at the camp. Garrus was stunned into silence for a moment as his own thoughts and reactions warred through him. His Shepard was alive and being used as a weapon. She had a control chip in her and was being made to slaughter innocents. It enraged him that she was being used, again, and that she was probably being abused on top of everything.

The only bright note in James' entire debrief was about the Turian kid, Fallon. Garrus was not surprised when James told him that Shepard had adopted the kid as her own. No, what surprised him was that the group let her. James had speculated based off of a conversation with Shepard that the kid was being used as bargaining tool between the camp and her. Kind of a "do this or we'll kill him" sort of tool. Garrus could see the need to separate the kid first and as much as he agreed that Shepard with the chip was a danger to everyone here if she were to be brought back prematurely, he was angry that she was left behind.

James had mentioned that he had installed a camera in Shepard's living space in the camp and Garrus hurriedly had James activate the link and play back any footage that had been recorded. Garrus and James sat side by side at the main table in the debriefing room, both of their eyes riveted to the omnitool display. Garrus sucked in a breath when he saw Shepard enter the house, _it was really her!_ He almost couldn't contain a keen of pleasure at the fact that she was indeed alive. But that joy was quickly replaced with blinding rage at the scene unfolding before them.

Garrus wanted to direct his rage at James for the brutal display in front of them, but Garrus was stopped by the mirror image of rage present on James' face. Apparently James hadn't been expecting this either and was equally enraged by how his former Commander and friend was being abused. Garrus' eyes locked back onto the screen as he heard Shepard let out a screech pain when the man had started pummeling her ribcage. Both James and Garrus winced as they heard at least two ribs break. She had taken a swing at the man but she was already wearing out and her ribs were impeding her thrust.

They watched the entire ordeal, start to finish. Garrus was growling lowly by the end and James was systematically destroying the table in front of them with a knife he had produced sometime during the video. They watched as Shepard egged on her attacker and they both knew why she had done it – to buy James and Fallon more time. It didn't sit well with either of the two men as Shepard finally passed out from the abuse, her nose and lips bleeding profusely while the man who James had identified as "Bernard" made a quick call to some Doctor via his omnitool.

Eventually some medical professionals came and took Shepard out of the room to spirits know where. Garrus and James listened as the Doctor chastised Bernard for letting his anger get the better of him and that Shepard would be out of commission for a few days now – Even the Doctor pointed out that this entire situation was probably preplanned and he continued his chastising rant as the two left the house. As soon as the Doctor and Bernard left, James cut the feed. They didn't need to be staring at a pool of Shepard's blood while they digested what they had just witnessed.

Garrus was the first to talk and he was already forming a plan of action to get her back. He had to get her back from this place, for himself and for her own life. Any emotion he had been burying about her over the past year was abruptly brought back to the forefront. Venaea wouldn't like it, but Garrus mentally ended his relationship with her. She was sex, Shepard was his future. They had joked about kids together the last time he saw her and he was damned sure he was going to help her give Fallon a family the kid deserved.

With new purpose Garrus and James went over their strategy for getting Shepard back. Garrus was going to contact Miranda and have her come down to London to help prep them for whatever would be required to remove the chip from Shepard. James was going to start going over ideas to subdue Shepard when they did come up against her since she was not going to be in control of her actions. Both were determined to save Shepard and get her back to their side.

Garrus had heard of people in similar situations getting pardons from the Council and their own species for acts committed while under the effects of a control chip. Such occurrences were always kept very quiet and hush-hush since while everyone else may forgive the person, the people they slaughtered or the families of the slaughtered generally did not. Luckily, it was a big galaxy and it was easy to hide someone. Garrus also noted that no one knew what the person doing the slaughtering looked like; there had been no survivors who had actually witnessed the attacks. She _could_ get out of this with the right help.

* * *

Shepard woke up in a stark medical room where the lights hurt her eyes. She found herself chuckling at the feeling of déjà vu this brought about only this time there was a difference – She knew exactly where she was and how she got here. She knew she should feel angry, hurt or even disgusted but at this moment all she really felt was triumph. She had gotten Fallon and James out of the compound and somewhere safe. Sure, she'd be expected to kill more but now she could fully fight back. She had real, personal, tangible reasons to fight back and to keep fighting back. She silently pledged to herself to become the biggest pain in the ass she could possibly be.

They kept her locked in the medical wing for a week before they determined she was ready to be put back into the field. She still felt the residual aches and pains of having her body used as a punching bag but it wasn't anything that she hadn't felt before. Somehow everything felt easier now, everything felt lighter. Sure, she was about to be thrust back out and forced to kill an untold number of innocents, but she was going to fight every step of the way and it was going to be glorious. She was certain that she could take out a good number of the ground crew with her. She could quell their own numbers as they forced her to quell others.

It had been a while since she looked forward to a good fight.

For the first time since she had been forced to attend the pre-slaughter briefings, Shepard actually paid attention to the information being laid out in front of her. She was going to have a chance to return to her house before they departed and it would be a good opportunity to warn James via his vidcam about where they were going to attack. All she had to do was make it look like she was talking to herself which happened to be something she was good at.

The shuttle landed a mile or so away from the military camp. The group had moved on from refugee camps long ago, she supposed that the refugee camps were less entertaining – refugees didn't fight back. Shepard had the realization long ago that this group was filled with mostly bullies looking for someone to pinch on. The kids were the truly unfortunate ones having to be brought up in such a bigoted, horrific mindset. They were the truly lost ones.

Shepard was brought out of her internal monologue by Felstein ordering the attack. She simply leaned into her hip and crossed her arms. She pretended to be interested in her armor; it was lighter than she was accustomed, when she had been a spectre she kept her heavy armor. This lighter armor made her feel like she was mimicking Kasumi or Miranda. The hood reminded her of Kasumi too, though it amazed her that it kept her face so well hidden – The scream that ripped through her throat tore her from her second monologue.

She shot Felstein a defiant look before flipping the man off. She was feeling especially defiant today and she felt the need to show it to the world. Unfortunately for her Felstein held control of her senses. With a few more angry compressions of the button Shepard was brought to her knees and her control was knocked from her grip. Rising again as ordered, Shepard's pupils took over her eyes changing the iris from glorious blue to nightly black.

With little regard to herself or others Shepard pressed forward towards the camp. Occasionally Shepard would fight the control and take a few shots at her fellow crew, but she would always lose in the end. Even so, Shepard felt a little pang of joy every time one of those pressing forward with her would buckle from a shot from her gun.

Shepard was causing so much trouble for her own group that eventually Felstein decided to cut his losses. He was beside himself with anger at the entire situation. When he had first started using Shepard he had her broken, tightly under control, she was a tool to be used! It was the kid's fault that his tool was now rebelling against him and doing a damned good job of it. She had killed half of the ground team on their last outing and he wasn't about to let her do that again.

Felstein returned to his calculations. He was determined to make a stronger control chip, something to control his tool better than his current chip was doing. It wouldn't be long now before the replacement chip was ready. Probably after their next trip he could perform the surgery and he wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. Felstein would revel in her pain as he explained to her what he was about to do as she slipped under sedation. He would bask in her pain when she awoke to the knowledge that he _owned_ her.

London was going to be their next target. After the London camp he would regain his control. _London._

* * *

Miranda rushed herself to Earth the moment she received Garrus' message. She was the perfect person for him to contact given the circumstances and she was more than willing to help her old friend. Shepard had done more for her than her own family and due to that fact Shepard was deserving of her undivided attention. Gathering the information necessary for a control chip removal, Miranda had met the Alliance transport at the designated connection.

Miranda felt a small thrill run over her spine as she mentally prepped herself for the upcoming challenge. She couldn't help it, it was a delicious challenge. Yes, Shepard was her good friend and she would move mountains to help her. But the simple logistics of having to take down a strong biotic with no free will to help them and then getting said biotic onto a surgical table so that she could be operated on were astronomical.

The challenge was perfect.

* * *

London. They were finally going to his London. Shepard felt that this was probably the camp where James and Fallon were. She had forgotten to ask James which camp they were at because at the time she was too busy spilling her own guts to him and wallowing in the comfort he provided her. In hindsight she probably should have asked.

Shepard was excited at the prospect of seeing Fallon again. She was nervous at the prospect of seeing Garrus, however. She didn't know what to think of seeing him. Would he understand? Would he forgive her? Did she want his forgiveness? James had said that Garrus was alive, but she felt at the time that he _hadn't_ said something else. Had Garrus moved on?

Shepard didn't know how to feel about that last question. She laid herself down in bed and stared at the ceiling. How would she feel if she knew Garrus had found someone else? Could she face him? She decided after a few moments that she wouldn't be angry at him. She supposed it would also depend on if the relationship was long term or not. Shepard also supposed that it would also depend on if Garrus could handle what she had been through, though she doubted that she would tell him everything.

Nerves were riding her hard as she tried to sleep before her big show down. She couldn't sleep and couldn't stop the questions roaring through her brain. She knew no answers for the questions she asked herself. Shepard idly wondered if the answers would be known even if her questions were answered.


	6. Chapter 6

Miranda had just arrived when James shared the news of the impending attack. It was odd in Garrus' mind to be so excited for someone to attack. He knew he wasn't excited for the attack itself, he was simply excited to see Shepard again. He was so excited, in fact, that up until running into Venaea as he was leaving one of the compounds that he remembered he had completely forgotten to end their… Relationship… Thing. He hadn't run into her since finding out that Shepard was alive and he had been too busy to try and search her out.

Garrus was hyper-sensitive towards making this whole situation seem more than what he felt it was so he made sure to keep his distance from the young woman, even in close quarters while discussing "them". Garrus had been stonewalling the woman on an emotional level and he felt that they were on the same page. Garrus had always been a bit thick-headed where relationships and emotions were concerned. Perhaps that's why the reaction he got when he finally told Venaea that they would no longer be meeting took him by such surprise.

One moment he was telling the female Turian that their relationship "thing" was over… The next, he was pinned by said Turian female against a wall. He tried to fight back… He really did. However, days on end of stress with no outlet other than planning had apparently been getting the best of him and in the end his instincts took over. He would make sure she knew that this was the last time. He promised himself that this would be the last time.

* * *

Fallon had been making an effort to get along with everyone who claimed to be Eva's friend. James had even told him that the Turian General, Garrus, was Eva's boyfriend before she was captured by Dr. Felstein. Fallon had been surprised that Eva was dating such a highly ranked Turian, but apparently she was also a big deal. Fallon didn't know what to think of the obvious reverence in which everyone seemed to regard her. They all called her "Shepard". Fallon figured it was her last name but it wasn't until someone called her "Commander Shepard" that it all sort of slid into place.

She was the Commander in the stories she had told him.

That made Archangel the General. Fallon had liked Garrus, the elder Turian had made a great effort to get to know him and befriend him. Garrus had made a point of coming to talk to Fallon regularly and even offered to let Fallon share his room with him. Fallon had been hesitant to accept Garrus' offer even knowing the relationship he had previously had with Eva – He liked living with James and James was the one Eva entrusted him to. Even so… It was tempting.

Due to the hustle and bustle of everyone getting ready for the upcoming assault Fallon was often left alone to wander around the less militarized areas of the encampment. He regularly took to exploring all of the bunkers and vehicles. He had found it all so fascinating, all of the human military mixed with the different aliens'. Everything he found had interested him in some way, to the point where he had decided that he would grow up to be a great Commander just like his mom. That way he could play with all of this stuff whenever he wanted!

He was so lost in his own world that he didn't notice the two Turians engrossed in each other until he was almost right up on them. It took him a moment to figure out that they weren't just practicing their hand to hand combat skills in the rather small, poorly lit bunker and another moment to register who at least the male was. Fallon found himself growling as he glared at the elder male until he their eyes connected. Hate, that's what Fallon tried to convey to Garrus. Hate and absolute betrayal! The man claimed to love his mom, was her boyfriend, was going to rescue her, was going to let him share a room with him… and was here screwing around with some Turian soldier… She reminded him of his biological mother. He hated her instantly too.

"I won't let someone like _you_ have my mom!"

The words were out of his mouth before he could control himself. After quickly examining the surprised expression on Garrus' face, Fallon bolted back to James' bunk. He trusted the human more than his own species at this point. Anger and hurt on his mom's behalf burned threw him and he could barely contain the keen of sorrow that escaped his throat when he finally threw himself onto his bunk. He had actually looked forward to living with Eva and Garrus. Fallon had been fantasizing about them living somewhere on a beach, a happy family. His mom and he were always happy in his fantasies. The Commander loved _Archangel_, what would she do now knowing that her love was screwing another?

Fallon was determined to make sure that _General_ Garrus didn't have a moment alone with his mom to break her heart.

* * *

Garrus couldn't believe his luck. His heart sank the moment the words left the kid's mouth and he couldn't even fathom the amount of hate being unleashed his way. Venaea had shot him a curious look and tried to press him for more information about this kid and the "mom" mentioned as he re-situated his clothes and prepared to leave. She was trying to convince him to stay, trying to touch and cuddle. It needed to be done now.

"V, we can't do this anymore. I'm done."

She quickly shot him a wounded glare; it was then that he truly let himself believe that this had become more than simply stress relief for her. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, it was a purely human gesture that he had picked up from Shepard. He was uncomfortable for so many reasons, Fallon walking in on them, Shepard's impending reunion and probable discovery of his relationship with Venaea, and the most prevalent at the moment being the very upset Turian in front of him.

"What do you mean we're done! I thought… I thought we…"

She had lost her voice halfway through. She was crumbling before him and he didn't have the will nor care to stop it. Deciding to just lay it out for her, he sighed and straightened himself.

"Venaea, it was stress relief, nothing more. I have no romantic interests in you what so ever. I'm sorry if that was not made clear."

The words felt slightly acidic leaving his mouth, had Shepard not lived he very well may have developed feelings for the woman. Garrus had never let himself consider having actual feelings for anyone just yet. He had after all just lost Shepard for the second time he had been in no emotional state to care for anyone else. He had thought that was made perfectly clear and the knowledge that it wasn't made him want to fidget even more.

He was handling this much too personally; Venaea had been a friend on top of being a lover. He couldn't quite bring himself to pull rank on her and order her away from him. It felt wrong considering everything they had been through together. He had hoped that they would part as friends but the longer he stood there the more likely it became that such a thing would not be possible. He sighed again and started to walk away.

She whimpered a bit, trying to get him to stay – to talk about it. She was trying to guilt and provoke his well known protective nature. He wasn't about to give her anymore false hopes considering he had apparently given her too many already. No, he had to pull rank to get her to pull it together. If she couldn't, he would transfer her away and let her lick her wounds in private and away from him.

"Soldier, this emotional display is inappropriate! You've been in the military long enough to know how stress relief works, you agreed to this arrangement. The arrangement is now _over_. Shape up or I will transfer you elsewhere."

He felt her stiffen as his words hit her. It was the proper response from a General in his position: Remind the soldier that this is normal, that they agreed to the terms and that there were no emotions. She had been naive to think that there would be anything more to the relationship. It wasn't uncommon for this type of relationship to develop within the Turian military and he knew she had been through this before so why had she been so attached this time?

Garrus stormed his way back to his office. He needed Shepard back to ground his world, he felt like everything was tipping to the side. He hoped she would understand – he NEEDED her to understand that he only loves her.

He needed Fallon to understand that as well.

* * *

Shepard wasn't sure how the entire "get Shepard back" plan was going to work; she just hoped that they could subdue her before she caused any real damage or casualties. It would be difficult to be trying to be "rehabilitated" surrounded by people glaring at you for killing their comrades. She would deal with it though if it meant freedom and a chance at a real life with Fallon.

The suit up for the mission went much the same as always, Bernard was even coming with on this one. He didn't often come on missions with Eva… He had a tendency to get distracted and try and take pot shots at her which pissed Felstein off to no end. She wondered why he was given a second chance after his near-killing her the last time he spent any real time with her. She wondered humorously if Felstein had installed a chip in him as well and was testing it out. She knew he hadn't since there was no scar on the back of Bernard's neck, but the thought was pretty entertaining.

They loaded up into the shuttles and were off towards London just like every other mission. For everyone but Shepard, this was just like any other mission. The only difference was that they were apparently expecting quite the fight. This camp was bigger than the other they had previously attacked and Felstein had planned accordingly. They were taking a much larger group than normal which added to Shepard's jitters.

The flight was excruciatingly long and it made Shepard silently wish that in times like this that they activated her chip. She hated being forced to bump knees with people who she couldn't openly despise for hours on end. Listening to them drone on and on about how disgusting Earth was for allowing aliens live here and marry humans, never mind that all of those aliens helped defend Earth during the Reaper invasion.

Shepard felt herself roll her eyes so many times that she had started to develop a headache. Maybe the headache would help her allies on the battlefield… She rolled her eyes a few more times to try and help the headache along. It was silly and childish but at this point she felt that they needed all the help that they could get. She would probably be able to gain control of herself sporadically during the fighting, but how long and what she could accomplish would still be up in the air.

Untold amount of hours later the shuttle began to descend for landing about a mile outside of the encampment. Felstein liked to remain far enough from the battle to be out of danger but still close enough for his remote to be effective. Shepard was the first out of the shuttle and she scanned the area, she was able to see the walls of their target, but seeing if anyone was ready for them was even above her cybernetic upgrades.

Before Shepard could really figure out what catty and witty statement she wanted to make on the mission Felstein activated her chip. She let out a howl of surprised pain as she collapsed to her knees… _Well if they didn't see us land they certainly know we're here now!_ It was her last thought before everything went blank.

* * *

James had been on guard duty when he saw the shuttles come in for landing. He had already alerted the camp and was watching the enemy ground team exit through his binoculars. He kept his gaze fixed to Shepard as she exited; milking in the differences from the last time he had seen her in battle. Her armor was black and form fitting, if he had to guess he would say that it was light armor because it seemed too thin to withstand any real damage… On top of that her face was covered by a hood and all he could really see were her lips. Lips pressed into a thin, angry line.

James was surprised at the anger that coursed through him when he saw her collapse and he assumed the good Doctor had activated her control chip. He heard her scream in pain and then nothing. She stood and began to press forward with the rest of the group staying a little behind. James had to admit that at this moment, he was terrified of her. She pressed forward without a care in the world and the simple lack of cover she was taking made him realize that she probably wouldn't react to being shot.

He hoped Miranda's plan worked otherwise they were all going to die.

* * *

Miranda and Garrus stood just behind the wall and got the assault team ready. The general word was to shoot at everyone except Shepard and to separate her ground team from her. They needed her alone and close… Miranda absently wondered if the kid, Fallon, was truly up to what he was going to have to do. Garrus had made her swear to him on his life that the kid would not be injured and if the deep bond between the kid and Shepard was real, he wouldn't be. Still, she worried. If the kid got hurt she really didn't want to deal with an angry Turian and a pissed off, psychotic Shepard.

* * *

Garrus wasn't sure about this plan at all. In fact, he hated it. He hated everything about it, what they were going to do to Shepard, what Fallon was going to have to do. The kid was, of course, still not talking nor looking at Garrus but that didn't stop him from worrying. They were going to let the kid be uncovered in the middle of a battle! Spirits Shepard would be pissed if they succeeded. She would probably rip him a new asshole.

At that thought Garrus had to smile. He could see Shepard approaching the camp and while he was intimidated by the force seeming to roll off of her in waves, he was going to get to talk to her soon. He was going to have the opportunity for her to get mad at him again, for them to simply be near each other again, he was getting her back – Again. This time he vowed to himself that they were going to cement their relationship. As soon as she was no longer angry at him for Vanaea he was going to make her his mate.

For the first time in a year, Garrus had something to look forward to. Now if only he could get through the next few hours and they could get Shepard into surgery…

* * *

Shepard stalked forward, her biotics blasting at people behind the wall as she got close enough. She felt shots ricochet off of her shield and noticed her "companions" falling in her peripheral vision. She found herself smiling as she got closer and closer, the delicious smell of fear and blood assailing her senses. She was about to break out into a run for the last fifteen or so feet when a small frame entered her vision.

A small target, Turian, couldn't be more than a child since Turian's didn't have midgets. She curled her fingers, the claw like additions to her armor flexing as she honed in on her would-be target. The kid made eye contact and Shepard stopped. She knew this kid, she loved this kid. She couldn't harm him… Why couldn't she harm him?

The chip burned in her skull as she fought for control. _Well played, Miranda_. Shepard thought as she regained minimal control. She had stopped moving and adopted a more relaxed pose. She hoped the subtle change would be enough to signal that this was the best opportunity Miranda was going to get. As if on cue, Miranda ushered the kid back behind the wall and took his place in Shepard's sight.

Miranda smiled and made a few quick movements, signals that they had used while in combat together to indicate enemy stats. Shepard understood the message loud and clear – disable her shields for a few well places shots. With as much jerky grace as she could muster, Shepard quickly downed her shields and nodded to Miranda. She stood, waiting for a moment while Miranda talked to her own team who was still hidden behind the wall.

Four sharpshooters popped up from view, each taking careful aim. In unison they unleashed their barrage of fire. They shot Shepard in each shoulder and each hip. She fell back as she shots tore through her armor and body, hitting the ground hard. She hated being shot; it always hurt much worse than she remembered. Lying on the ground for a moment, she tensed and tried to move, her arms protested and her legs refused to bare weight. Good, Miranda apparently knew what she was doing.

The only one who had been close to Shepard when she took the shots was Bernard. Shepard heard him swear under his breath somewhere above her head and as she turned to try and get a good look at him, he scooted closer to her and clamped his wrist around her neck. Judging from the look in his eyes he meant to kill her for her little coup. Well, she would just have to kill him first.

"You stupid, stupid man. Who do you think is going to save you now?"

She ground the words out as she managed to raise her pistol just enough to even it with his throat. She wanted him to die painfully and choking on his own blood seemed appropriate. It took all the muscle control she had to get her arm to move where she wanted, her shoulder throbbing and protesting the entire time. Bernard's grip on her neck tightened as she moved and he had yet to notice her raising her gun. Just as he thought he was about to win, about to kill her, Shepard pulled the trigger and shot Bernard in the neck. The bullet ripped his jugular vein open and the blood began to spill down his throat.

She watched as realization poured over his face, as he fell backwards and scrambled to stop the bleeding. She watched the life drain out of his body and she laughed.

Shepard heard Miranda yell something about forcing the rest of the assault team back, Shepard assumed they had probably progressed to try and retrieve her body. She felt her control chip chirp back to life as Felstein tried to regain control again. He succeeded but to no real avail. Shepard was effectively grounded and all he could really do was activate her biotics. Push after push left her body as he tried to keep Miranda and her team away from Shepard.

Both Shepard and Miranda knew that this was a feeble attempt on the Doctor's part. Shepard couldn't maintain her biotics indefinitely and was becoming extremely exhausted. Her heavy biotic usage matched with her readily gushing gunshot wounds were rendering her effectively useless. One more push raged through her and with a strangled cry of pain she lost herself to the darkness.

* * *

Miranda saw Shepard pass out and knew that they wouldn't have a lot of margin for error on this. She needed to get Shepard back to the surgical room and start her surgery as soon as possible. She also needed to start a blood infusion judging from the amount of blood she could see that Shepard had lost. The wounds normally would not have bled that much but with the constant muscle spasms as Shepard used her biotics… Well, it was pushing more blood through her veins than normal.

Miranda ordered cover fire for her and James as they bolted forth to grab shepard. Miranda used her biotics to keep the aggressors at bay as James unceremoniously picked Shepard up and slung her over his shoulder. She heard him mention something along the lines of "Safe now" and "Lola" before they both sprinted back behind the safety of the wall.

Miranda only spared Garrus and Fallon a sidelong glance before she and James rushed the heavily bloodied Shepard to the surgical room. The kid had been screaming and fighting against Garrus' hold to get to Shepard. Miranda hoped Garrus could keep the kid away from the room long enough for her to do her job. This was just the beginning of Miranda's trial and she had a difficult and dangerous surgery ahead of her with an already damaged patient.

Good thing she loved challenges.


	7. Chapter 7

Garrus nearly had a heart attack when Shepard finally dropped her shields. He had no idea what she and Miranda had silently agreed upon, but as the sharpshooters raised their guns his heart dropped to his stomach. He had no time to really process what he was seeing until he heard the shots ring out. He watched as her form was slightly lifted from the ground by the force of the bullets slicing through her before she fell to the ground. He cringed and tensed as she hit with a loud thud…

He almost ran to her, almost let his instincts take over and charged towards her in a furious, protective haze of growls and claws. The only thing that stopped him from doing so was Fallon. The kid had let out a mournful scream as he watched his adoptive mother get shot by the people who promised to help her. No one had discussed how they were going to bring Shepard down and even if Garrus had known prior to the act… He wouldn't have shared it with the kid.

Garrus grabbed Fallon as soon as he started to try and run to Shepard. Garrus understood what he was feeling but he had more control over his emotions. He knew this needed to happen, he had watched Shepard agree with Miranda. He hugged Fallon close to his chest despite the kid's protests. He knew he had a long way to go with Fallon since he had sent himself back to below square one ever since he saw him and Venaea together, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to be there for him now and in the future.

The trauma of seeing Shepard shot was apparently enough for Fallon to momentarily forget his dislike for Garrus because he only fought the older man's hold for a few moments before yielding. He clung to the older Turian as if he were his father, keening and whimpering as the fight to regain Shepard pressed on. Garrus took his own comfort from the child as they clung together trying to drown out the sounds of fighting and the screams of furious pain coming from Shepard's mouth.

He hadn't realized how attached he had let himself get to Fallon in such a short time. Something in the way James had described Fallon and Shepard's relationship had touched Garrus – it was so like her to immediately fall in love with a child such as Fallon. Shepard's love for the kid became his love for him. Garrus knew instantly why he felt this way, he and Shepard had briefly and even slightly jokingly discussed the idea of having or adopting kids together before she ran off to destroy the galaxy's most prevalent enemy. He wanted a family with Shepard. Fallon was her family so he instantly became Garrus' family.

Now the two men were watching the woman they were devoted to get shot down by her own allies. They both knew on some level that this was how it had to go down but it didn't make watching it any easier. Garrus knew that this truce between him and Fallon was going to be short lived but he would take what he could get. He hoped that Shepard would understand and help him with Fallon.

Garrus had been so wrapped up in trying to distract himself from the scene unfolding before that he almost missed Shepard being strangled on the battlefield. He had already been growling when the man crawled up to Shepard and moved his hand over his throat but Garrus' growl became more violent and angry as recognition of who the man was registered in him… It was the man who had raped and beat Shepard on the vid that James and Garrus had watched.

Garrus' hands curled, his claws itching to rip the man limb from limb. His growling merely lowered in decibel as Shepard painstakingly dragged her pistol up and onto the front of the man's throat as he was distracted with trying to kill her. He snorted his approval as Shepard pulled the trigger and sentenced the man to a slow and painful death. Garrus had wanted to be the one to kill the man. He had watched him abuse and rape _his_ woman and someone who did that simply had to have a short expiration date. But, Garrus also knew that Shepard doing this would give her some closure… That and there was no way for him to physically get out there to finish the man off as he gurgled his way towards death without endangering himself or Fallon. No, this death was appropriate… Just less violent that he would have wanted.

It wasn't until Miranda and James ran out onto the field to retrieve Shepard that Garrus truly let himself relax. They raced her back behind their defensive lines and towards the surgical station. He was concerned by the amount of blood she was losing, but Miranda seemed unconcerned and that comforted him. He had learned long ago that if Miranda wasn't worried then he shouldn't be. She cared for Shepard like family and she would take care of her as such.

Fallon didn't seem to have the same amount of faith, though, and Garrus couldn't blame him. Fallon instantly began struggling again when he truly saw how injured Shepard was. The kid started to kick and scream while fighting to break himself free of Garrus' grip. He held the kid close knowing that Miranda couldn't deal with the distraction of a freaked out kid during such a delicate surgery. Garrus wasn't going to let even Fallon ruin Shepard's chances of getting through the surgery… Even if Fallon was just outwardly displaying his own inner desires.

* * *

Venaea had her rifle ready and waiting for orders to fire. She knew that she was supposed to aim at the woman's left shoulder in order to incapacitate her. Apparently they were going to try and save someone under the control of a chip – not an easy task. V was actually rather excited about the prospect since it was such a rare occurrence and said excitement was keeping her mind off of being dumped by her beloved General.

She was excited until she took the shot and heard Garrus' subharmonics keen in worry. She spared Garrus a glace and saw him comforting the kid who had walked in on them the earlier. She was still confused until she heard the kid's cries and keens. This woman who she just shot was apparently important to both of them… She had never heard a kid sound like that unless it had something to do with a parent.

"_I won't let someone like you have my mom."_ That's what the kid had said…

V stared at the woman now writhing on the ground in pain and anger, throwing off biotic charges as she did so… She was the kid's "mom" and apparently someone Garrus wanted. V suddenly felt like taking another pot shot at the woman but it was too risky. She was surrounded by her fellow soldiers and they were working hard to keep the approaching enemy off of the target. She would just have to confront this human later. Besides, she didn't seem so tough maybe if she showed Garrus how useless a human was to him she could get back into his good graces.

* * *

James paced the surgical room as Miranda quickly put temporary patches on all of Shepard's gunshot wounds. They were secondary to getting the chip out and they both knew it. If she were to wake up still under the chip's control she could be a danger to herself and the rest of the camp. Ensuring that the bleeding had stopped enough Miranda hooked an IV up with fluids and donor blood… It was a patch job at best and Miranda knew it. She hated to essentially waste the donor blood, but there was no helping it at this point.

She rolled Shepard over and tightly strapped her in to the specialty made surgical table. It was essentially a massage table with the face-hole so that Shepard's spine would remain straight. This was essential to ensure that the chip could be removed properly. Miranda wasted no time reaching for her scalpel and making the appropriate incision into Shepard's cranium to get to the chip. She knew the chip would likely be just above the biotic implant… and with any luck she wouldn't need to crack her skull to get at it.

James shifted uncomfortably in the room as Miranda started to work on Shepard. She sighed a bit and glanced up at the nervous jarhead.

"Does blood make you nervous Marine? Just stay at the door, I can't have anyone coming in here. If I'm startled while I'm doing this it could cause Shepard irreversible brain damage."

She needed the man to quit fidgeting and she hoped her statement would be enough to get him to sit still… He was almost as bad as she imagined the kid would've been – only he wasn't hovering. She liked that, she didn't need someone hovering over her work.

* * *

James was sick to his stomach. Besides the fact that Shepard was still bleeding out, albeit slower than she was when they brought her in, Miranda was wielding the scalpel faster than any doctor he had ever seen. Either she was nervous or she was way too experienced poking around in someone's head than he wanted to know. He hated that they needed to shoot hepard to subdue her but she seemed to understand and agree if her expression at the time was any indication. James hadn't missed hearing similar sounds of anger rolling out of Garrus and Fallon, however. It unnerved him when Turian's did the growling thing… It reminded him of Pit Bulls getting ready to tear your face off.

_God she's one hell of a woman, _James thought as he looked down at Shepard's limp form on the surgical table. He had watched as she fought against her own damaged muscles to shoot Bernard in the neck with razor sharp precision. She had stopped herself from attacking Fallon and James was glad and relieved for it. He had been adamant against using his little buddy as bait but had been quickly overruled. Even Garrus seemed against the idea, but Hackett had pulled some rank on the ordeal. He wondered if that man even really cared about Shepard or if he was going to try and use her as soon as she was well enough again.

Mostly James was just worried about her… How was she going to adjust to being back? Would she need therapy? He bet she would after what he saw her endure. She reacted like it was something pretty normal, she hadn't really fought back at all except to antagonize the man. Would Garrus be able to deal with her emotional issues after something like that?

Well if Garrus couldn't, James swore he would.

* * *

Fallon was beside himself. _They shot my MOM!_ The keen of worry and despair erupted from his throat the moment he saw his mom's body shoot back towards the ground. Garrus had grabbed him and picked him up, but he had to get to his mom. He had to make sure she was alright!

All of his anger for Garrus was momentarily forgotten the moment the older man made the same noise Fallon was. Whatever he had been doing earlier with that woman on the firing squad had apparently not dampened his feelings for Eva. Turians didn't, couldn't, make that sound for just anyone - it was a deeply hurt and worried sound that generally only was used for family. It was a subconscious thing, or so Fallon had been told.

Fallon found himself fighting against Garrus more the moment Bernard came in to view. _He's going to kill her!_ Every fiber of Fallon's being was fighting and demanding to be close to her, to protect her. He couldn't move though, Garrus' hold was too strong. He still tried to fight when the dark haired woman and James brought his mom back to where she was supposed to have her surgery. He didn't stop fighting until the door had been closed for a few minutes.

He was exhausted… Garrus had held him tightly to his chest as soon as he was able and had started to try and comfort him. Fallon briefly wondered how much of the comfort was for him as well as Garrus. It really didn't matter though since Fallon _was_ comforted and found himself quickly falling asleep despite himself. He wanted to stay awake. He wanted to stay mad at Garrus. He figured he could be mad when Eva was out of surgery and he had confirmed that she was fine. Until then, it was a nice feeling - this whole comfort thing.

* * *

Felstein was furious. _How could this happen!_ His rage almost boiled over when he realized he had broken the control chip's remote by gripping it too tightly while he slammed his finger on the activate button. He was beside himself when he realized that Shepard had apparently been a part of this plan. It had been made immediately apparent when he watched that stupid bastard child walk out into sight near the camp's walls. That was where the kid went and she had somehow altered them to the attack.

Bernard had been a stupid, careless imbecile. That much was apparent when the idiotic handler tried to choke the wounded weapon… Like she wouldn't find a way to kill him. Felstein was beside himself suddenly with worry. This meant that his entire organization was going to be exposed. He needed to move everyone and fast. He needed to put plans into motion, plans he had never planned on using ironically enough.

He quickly boarded a shuttle and signaled for them to leave. The rest of the ground force was on their own now; he had more important things to do. He didn't even spare another glance back as he signed the death warrant for the rest of the team. Felstein needed to cover his own ass first.

* * *

Miranda worked diligently throughout the rest of the night and into the next morning. She hadn't needed to cut into Shepard's skull bone to get to the chip but she did need to dislodge the chip from Shepard's new biotic implant. The process took longer than Miranda would have liked since she had other wounds on Shepard to attend to. She made sure she kept the chip safe since usually the authorities would like to make sure there really was a chip before pardoning someone in Shepard's situation. Miranda silently cursed the rest of the Galactic authoritarian system for the fact that they would believe that Shepard _could_ do anything like this without being chipped. It's not like the woman saved the Galaxy or anything. It's not like she had just been uniting all of the races to work together. It's not like she didn't have a Turian boyfriend.

Miranda quickly sewed shut Shepard's head wound and stripped off the rest of her armor. The wounds were where they should have been so no vital organs had been hit but infection seemed to want to set in. Miranda had taken a risk by not removing the sweaty armor to begin with but the pressure on the wounds by said armor kept her from bleeding too freely. She sighed audibly as she worked to clean and cover the wounds. With an infection starting stitches really wouldn't do… So Shepard was going to have to deal with the scars. Medigel would work for now; she would just have to clean the wounds often while Shepard's cybernetics worked on healing her.

Overall Miranda was proud of her work; she managed to remove a highly developed control chip from her friend's brain while there were other wounds present and the Shepard didn't die. In fact Miranda expected Shepard would have a full recovery despite the trauma. Well… Physical recovery that is. Miranda had been told a little bit about what Shepard had endured and Miranda had heard rumors about Dr. Felstein's practices while she still worked for Cerberus. Before The Illusive Man had gone completely bonkers he had removed Felstein's funding and disowned the sect from Cerberus for the very same practices. She only hoped that Shepard would be able to recover mentally from everything and she promised both her friend and herself that she would remain here until she was sure Shepard was going to be fine.

* * *

Her head hurt… God did it hurt. She was aware of what was going on around her, but she couldn't bring herself to full consciousness just yet. She felt safe, she felt like she could finally just relax. She heard Garrus talking to her; he seemed to be trying to sooth her. The fact that he was there was more soothing that she had let herself expect. She was almost surprised when she didn't feel the worry, guilt and apprehension clawing at the chest. All she felt was calm, calm and sleepy.

Shepard let darkness take her again, knowing full well that when she woke up she would be able to start moving forward with her life. It wasn't going to be easy, but she knew that she had people who actually cared about her nearby.


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: Hope you enjoy!**

Three days… Shepard had been asleep for three days. She seemed rather peaceful as her bruises and wounds healed rapidly thanks to her cybernetics. They had moved her into an old conference room in one of the other buildings near the center of the encampment. Garrus and Fallon had both moved cots into the large room so that they could be with Shepard around the clock. Well... Garrus was there around the clock, Fallon seemed content to simply sleep there. Garrus couldn't blame him, this really wasn't the place for a kid.

Garrus had been neglecting his duties ever since Shepard had been brought back, though Hackett seemed to allow the lapse in work ethic. Garrus wasn't completely free of duty, however, since everyone who had been allowed to know about the situation had been hounding Garrus endlessly for updates. It was wearing him thin, being able to see Shepard and not talk to her. Being able to be near her and unable to show her how much he had missed her.

The constant inquiries were not helping either. He was constantly forced to tell people that he didn't know the answers to their questions. He didn't know, really, what had happened to her while she was away. He didn't know how she was doing now other than "asleep". All he could truly say was that the surgery was a supposed success and that Shepard was stable physically. Mentally, again, he just didn't know.

There were so many unknowns and they would easily grate on him if he let them. Anxiety and despair constantly threatened to overwhelm him and set him off into a fit of rage and anger. Every time the rage came close to boiling over however, he would just have to look at Shepard's peaceful form. Just seeing her close, seeing her safe was enough to calm him and remind him that soon he would be able to hold her and tell her how much she means to him. He would be able to re-establish their bond that had been weakened by thoughts of death and time apart.

He was ready for her to wake up. He moved to sit closer to her and took hold of her delicate hand. He continued his silent vigil over her as he willed her to wake up, willed her to look upon him with her crystal blue eyes again.

* * *

Fallon was a little surprised by Garrus' vigil over Eva. He never left the room except to piss and he would barely move away from her to answer the calls to his omnitool. Fallon had started to wonder if maybe he had misjudged Garrus' actions with the Turian woman before. Maybe it hadn't been what he thought and maybe Garrus was actually trustworthy. According to what he had heard from James, Eva had trusted Garrus most of all. She had loved him more than anything else.

However every time he started to wonder her would berate himself quietly. No, he was not wrong. Forgiving Garrus this soon would be weak and a mistake. He knew from experience that he would need to hold back his final judgment until Garrus had a chance to either prove he was what his mother called a douche bag… or if he would be trustworthy.

In the meantime Fallon was going insane just sitting in this room and watching his mom sleep. He knew that she would wake up, she always did. She wouldn't leave him alone in this world and not goodbye. As long as he wasn't there for her to say goodbye then she would just have to wake up. He had it all planned out. No, instead he would go and find James. James had always had something fun for him to do.

Fallon wasted no time telling Garrus that he was going to go find James before rushing out the door. He knew exactly where his friend would be, there was an area in the mechanic's ward where James liked to stay and exercise while bantering with the pilots. Fallon hid behind one of the crates watching James and Cortez trade verbal jabs back and forth.

Fallon had started a little game with James a few days back – He would try and sneak up on James and get the upper hand. If Fallon won he would get something of James'… If James won Fallon would have to do whatever he said for the rest of the day. More often than not James won and Fallon would have to help Cortez work on the shuttles.

Fallon never minded working on the shuttles because he always got to learn something. Cortez was a good teacher and Fallon was starting to feel confident enough in his mechanical skills that he felt he could take on most basic tasks around the engine. Just once, however, Fallon wanted to win against James. James had a few pictures of his mom from before the Reapers attacked… And he wanted one of them.

The picture was as basic as they came. It was just his mom in her Alliance military fatigues relaxing with her feet on a table in a mess hall. She was relaxed and her hair was shorter than it was now and slightly messy. The picture wasn't anything special, really, except for one aspect – her smile. Fallon had never once seen his mom smile like that before. It was pure and happy. If he never got to see her smile like that again he wanted that picture as a reminder of her when she _was_ happy.

Fallon silently climbed up the crates trying to get a better angle on James. He used the tricks both James and his mom had taught him. Proper foot placement and distributing his weight right so not to throw off both his balance and the balance of the crates was all that was going through his mind.

_A little bit more to the left.. Careful.. Must make sure the rope doesn't move otherwise it will make a small sound. No sounds to give me away... Little higher..._

Once he reached the top most crate he silently scooted himself across and managed to position himself right above James. He focused on keeping his movements slow and steady while he moved to his feet in order to jump down on James' back. However, just as he was about to drop himself down for the win the large man looked right up and into Fallon's eyes. Fallon cursed loudly glaring at James as he gave up any pretense of silence and loudly moved to sit on the crate instead of in his crouched position.

"How did you know! I was so quiet this time!"

He couldn't help that his question came out as more of a whine than he wanted; he was really disappointed after all! His ire was only furthered along by James laughing at his question. Fallon simply glowered while he waited for his answer since he knew it was coming. James was also a good teacher and always made sure to tell Fallon how to better his sneaking. Granted, Fallon secretly wondered if James _was_ even really helping him… The man was as big as a house so how in the world could he sneak up on anyone?

James finally stopped his mocking chuckles and calmly informed Fallon that he had watched him walk up to the building… So Fallon was caught before he even knew his own plan of attack. Fallon let out a whine as he jumped down from his perch to go over to Cortez and get his assignments for the day. At least he would be able to stay busy.

* * *

_Shepard was fighting Bernard again; he was trying to rape and kill her. She was fighting for her life, more so than she ever had before. She always had something to lose by fighting back, but now she knew that it was stop him or die. She was losing badly. He had her pinned and was moving his hand up from her chest and onto her throat. God he was going to choke her to death! She had one last chance to fend him off, one last shot…_

Shepard shot forward from her motionless sleep with one hand reaching forward with her fist closed as if she was going to strike someone. Her breathing was erratic as she looked around the room. She heard groaning off to one side and realized that someone was holding her hand. Before she could control her reaction she was already launching herself off of the bed onto the opposite side from her companion.

The person holding her hand had been a Turian… His face was obscured by his sleeping position. She slowly slid her hand out of his as she tried to reason out where she was. Felstein didn't employ aliens. Where was she? She brought a hand to her head and tried to remember. She remembered going for a battle and she remembered letting her shields down… Miranda had ordered people to shoot her… And she had let them. They were supposed to get the control chip out…

She absently reached her hand to the back of her neck and winced when she felt fresh stitches. She also noted that her shoulders were aching and her hips were protesting their new found re-use. She started to get lost in her own relief before she was reminded of the Turian in the room by his startled gasp. Dropping her hand from her neck she tried to stand up straighter and winced at her effort. She was definitely not going to be running a marathon any time soon…

Her own breath caught as realization and recognition shot through her, _Garrus_. Despite her reservations and fears she had only days ago she found herself limp around the bed towards him. She couldn't move too far before her hips gave out and she started to tumble towards the ground. She didn't fall much before arms were around her and she was abruptly crushed against a hard, but welcome, chest. She shuddered as he dropped his face against her neck and she felt him suck in a deep breath.

She broke down. She was finally free. A year of torture and stress, of always having to be alert and never being allowed to relax finally flowed out of her in sobs and tears. She couldn't remember another time where she had crumbled so completely and she suddenly felt like it was exactly what she needed. She let herself be moved when Garrus tried to pull her with him and she let him pull her into his lap as he sat down. She cried into his neck as he cradled her. She was finally safe.

* * *

Garrus had felt the bed move but didn't let himself get his hopes too high up that Shepard was actually awake. She had been known to become restless in her sleep-coma and the first couple times she moved he had nearly tried to shake her into consciousness because of his false hope that she was waking. It wasn't until he heard the sheets shift and a small grunt paired with human feet hitting the floor that he actually lifted his head.

Shepard was half crouched on the other side of the bed… Had she moved that quickly? She wasn't looking at him but looking down at the bed as one of her hands was rubbing the back of her neck. She had a look of confusion and relief plastered on her face. Spirits she was awake! He stood up abruptly and let himself suck in an unsteady breath. He didn't know what to do and he didn't want to frighten her if she didn't remember what had happened. Miranda had mentioned that memory loss was a possible occurrence.

It wasn't until she actually looked up and saw him that he realized that she at least knew what was going on now and had some memory of what had happened. She started to move towards him around the bed and he couldn't stop himself from moving towards her as well. Not that he would want to stop, but she would be in control of this since she was the one that had been under such severe trauma. He didn't want to frighten her off or do something that would trigger some unhappy reaction. He had been around enough trauma victims in his lifetime to know that you could never really tell what was going to be a trigger.

It wasn't until she started to fall that he rushed his pace and kept her from falling completely. Without being able to really control himself he then dragged her up and crushed her against his chest. She was in his arms again! He was holding _his_ Shepard! He dropped his face down to her neck and sucked in another deep breath, _Spirits she still smelled the same!_

Then a sound he had never heard her, or any human really, make tore itself from her throat. He almost let her go thinking that he had done something wrong but her arms snapped around his neck under his cowl and she latched herself onto him. It was then he realized that she was crying... He had never witnessed her crying before. He certainly had never witness her come anywhere close to this sort of breakdown. Whatever she had been through had been enough to break the toughest woman he had ever met… They had broken the woman he loved...

He slowly moved them back to the chair he was previously occupying and settled them down, her in his lap and her face pressed against his neck. She obviously needed to do this and he was not about to try and stop her. He was going to be there for her and comfort her. No one was going to take her from him and no one was going to stop him from comforting _his_ woman. She was safe and in his arms again. He was not losing her a third time!

His instincts were starting to take over and all he felt was the primal need to protect her from anything and anyone. Miranda entered the room, as per her routine, unsuspecting of the sight before her. Garrus growled a little as she intruded on them but controlled himself enough to stop when he recognized her as a friend. He cleared his throat a bit trying to awkwardly play the territorial act off and nodded to her. She seemed merely startled but otherwise unphased and in truth she probably expected such a reaction out of him when Shepard finally woke up. If he was honest with himself he had to admit that he was slightly predictable when it came to the woman in his arms.

Miranda approached Garrus carefully, keeping her hands up in a universal sign of peace. He sighed a bit at the situation. All he wanted to do was be alone and comfort her but he knew he had to let Miranda near to check on her. He willed himself to regain a margin of control and nodded to Miranda to signal that she could check on Shepard. He knew that Miranda needed to make sure Shepard was healing well especially now that she was awake.

Miranda quickly did some readings over Shepard and nodded in apparent satisfaction. The sobs coming from Shepard were obviously of no real surprise to Miranda since she seemed nonplussed about it. She whispered to Garrus and he assumed she was trying to not disturb Shepard in her current state of unrest.

"This isn't uncommon, she's probably been through more than we can imagine and even the Great Commander Shepard needs a shoulder to cry on… When she's calmer, call me and I'll come check on her more thoroughly."

With that being said Miranda simply turned and left Garrus alone with Shepard. The force behind Shepard's sobs were already lessening, however her grip on him was not. She had her face pressed tightly against his neck and her breath was teasing his skin…

There was nowhere else in the universe that he would rather be at that very moment.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update! My computer had to be sent off and my phone did not like and refused to work with the site so I could still post _something_. Either way, here is the much delayed update! I hope you enjoy and please review!**

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Shepard had awoken from her last long sleep. She had woken up to a world she had previously only dreamed of. She had cried against Garrus for what had felt like hours and after she had finished crying, she simply sat in his arms. He smelled just like she remembered. He felt just like she remembered. She couldn't quite wrap her head around everything that had changed in such a quick time.

Of course she had faith that the loosely formed plan would work but if she was honest with herself, she hadn't expected it to work so well. She had fully resigned herself to personal failure once Fallon was free and safe. She never expected to only suffer some well-placed bullet wounds and some biotic trauma.

She and Garrus seemed to dance around the topic of what she had been through, instead electing for quiet acceptance and relief that they were around each other again. Neither were really ready to rehash what she went through in the camp and she was grateful that he hadn't pushed her yet for information. She wasn't ready to say everything out loud. She still felt like this may be a dream that she hadn't woken up from yet. She didn't want to break the illusion of perfection just yet.

Shepard had wandered around the large makeshift base a few times since she woke and each time she was a little more amazed at the companionship being displayed. Turians, Humans, some Krogan and Asari milled about working on various projects all bent on fixing what was damaged and getting the refugees back home. She even saw some Salarians here and there helping out with the more technical and medical aspects of the reconstruction. Everyone working together towards a common goal made Shepard feel like everything she had gone through during the Reaper attack was worth it.

The only thing that was really unnerving was the way one particular female Turian kept eyeing her – it didn't seem to be a friendly look by any means. Shepard wondered if it had something to do with the fact that their once-assumed-single General was spending all of his free time with a Human. Garrus had tried to avoid the topic altogether by distracting Shepard in any way possible. She knew there was a story there, but she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know the details.

Since Garrus was in command here he was often busy and Shepard was left alone to heal and be examined. Poked and prodded all in the name of making sure she was mentally and physically intact. She really wanted to know what the shrinks thought of her mental state but they weren't really into sharing their opinions and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know where they thought she should be right now… Probably in a mental institute recovering from her "trauma".

She had a lot of time to think over the situation with Garrus and the nameless female Turian… If she were honest with herself she had to admit that the idea of him with another woman severely bothered her… But, she wouldn't, couldn't, blame him if he had sought comfort elsewhere. She was presumed dead, she couldn't say how long she would have waited before at least shacking up with someone else. Obviously with the ease in which he returned to her it was nothing emotional... Well, on his end. If the other woman was indeed his partner while she was "Missing In Action" then there were obvious feeling son her side. It was a confusing mixture of hurt and understanding that was warring through her imagination at the thought of him with anyone else. She had no proof – yet – of course, but she didn't get as high ranking as she was without being able to read in between the lines.

For now quiet acceptance of what probably happened between the two would be her path… And reminding Garrus as best as she could of why he fell in love with her in the first place. As best she could, however, was becoming harder and harder to achieve considering her new title as the resident worthless-looney.

* * *

Garrus had been in a haze of joy and trepidation since Shepard woke. The moment she had recognized him and had begun to finally let her emotions out had been probably the most relief he had felt since she waltzed back into his life on Omega. He had let himself cry (well, the Turian version of crying which was more like quiet human wailing) with her as he cradled her to his body. He saw a future again, a future with her and with the kid with whom he had yet to make amends.

But he would. Spirits damn him, he would. He would do whatever it took to make her happy and he would make their relationship official somehow since the specifics on Turian-Human couplings was, for the most part, a work in progress. He would find a way to make it official and to do the human act of marry her. All he had to do first was fix the damned ships.

Garrus had entertained no doubts that Shepard would agree with his future plans until she started questioning him about the looks Venaea was apparently giving her. Venaea was rapidly becoming his biggest regret, far outweighing his original survivor's guilt over losing track of Shepard in the final push against the Reapers. If he was alone for a moment and Venaea was in the vicinity, she would attempt to assault him with scathing questions regarding Shepard and their relationship. His own guilt over having effectively used the female Turian had kept him from being too harsh on her for her conduct, but she was getting braver and crueler and his guilt was running out.

On multiple occasions he had to pull her aside and reprimand her for conversations he had overheard between her and other soldiers. She was attempting to paint a quite negative picture of Shepard to rally others to her side and he would have none of that. Fortunately most of the Turian soldiers took what she said for what it was – good old fashioned jealous hate. Relations between Turians and Humans were warming rapidly due to the troops the Primarch had lent to the recovery efforts and Shepard's own actions during the war and he did not need a jealous female to try and ruin those relations.

However, much to Garrus' annoyance a small group had flocked to her. Garrus had made her and her followers well aware that Shepard was off limits and so far they had left her alone. The same couldn't be said for any other Human who they happened upon. They were all in the brig currently for having started an altercation where thankfully no one was majorly injured but they had been the offending party, minus Venaea. She had managed to extricate herself from the incident before the authorities could intervene.

It had been a breaking point for him and he had sent word back to Palavan that the next transport out was going to be plus Venaea and her group. He had added a little footnote to the issues they were causing and recommended that they be separated and had their energy refocused to aiding the rebuilding of Palavan effort. That transport was scheduled a month out and to Garrus it couldn't come soon enough.

When Garrus wasn't deflecting Shepard's questions about Venaea and working diligently on the recovery effort, he was spending time re-bonding with Shepard and attempting to break down the wall between him and Fallon.

Fallon seemed to be warming up to Garrus slowly but surely and Garrus knew that he had Vega to thank for that. Vega had pulled him aside and warned him that the kid was none too keen on the older Turian after what he had witnessed between him and Venaea. After ample reassurances to Vega that the incident would never be repeated, Vega had agreed to help him gain some "brownie points" as Vega had called them. He would want fish points, tree points, even table points if they helped him gain favor with the kid. Luckily the tactic seemed to be working as Fallon engaged Garrus in friendly conversation more frequently and Garrus was now confidently able to label their relationship as friendly.

Shepard, on the other hand, was still something he worried about. Their bonding was going well, quite well in fact, but she experienced horrible nightmares. She refused to talk with him about them and the severity of them weighed heavily on him. He had once made the mistake of listening in on one of her therapy sessions and he had overheard a story she was telling about her forced massacre of a small refugee camp. The thought of her being forced to do that made him both sick to his stomach and his blood boil. All he wanted was to protect her and he had been failing at it. She had been forced to kill innocents, kill to protect someone important to her, and be violated by a sick man. He had failed her.

He was still amazed that she seemed to be coping with it as well as she was, but he had seen this type of calm before. He knew that it was frail and that he had to be careful about what happened to her while she readjusted to normal life. If the wrong thing was done to her or the wrong thing said around her it could have detrimental effects on her recovery. Just what those effects might be were a mystery but he was not willing to experiment to figure out what exactly would happen. He needed her safe.

* * *

Vega and Fallon were sitting on one of the Makos in the shop for repairs, eating lunch and "shooting the shit" as Vega liked to phrase it. Fallon found himself enamored with the life he now lead. His mom was some big hero to most of these people and she seemed genuinely happy to be back around them. He got to work on transports all day and talk with Vega about everything. In fact, he fancied Vega to be his best friend.

That friendship was why he began to trust Vega's opinion on the General, Garrus. On more than one occasion Fallon had interrupted Garrus and Eva in the middle of… well… He wasn't sure what they were doing but they seemed embarrassed enough to be interrupted. She seemed happy and that made him happy. Vega had also talked up the history between Garrus and Eva and it made Fallon respect the older Turian a bit more. He had to admit that taking a rocket to the face was pretty damned badass.

Fallon hadn't seen the disagreeable female Turian and Garrus interact in any way that would worry him since Eva was brought to the camp and that also increased his opinion of Garrus. As far as Fallon could tell the female, Venasia? Veneria? Whatever her name was, she always seemed to be pissing the General off. She would say something to him and he would glare and snap. Fallon was also fairly certain that he heard Garrus tell Shepard that he was sending her back to their homeworld. Well… The other Turian's homeworld. To Fallon, Earth was his home and it was where he was from.

Either way, things finally seemed to be going the right way for him and Eva. Vega was even going to teach him how to do something called swagger after the work was done.

* * *

Venaea was fuming. She had been ever since that bitch Shepard woke up. Ever since that stupid _Commander_ had come back Venaea was nothing to Garrus. He wouldn't even smile at her anymore.

She had tried to question him about his relationship with the Human but he refused to entertain her. He had, in no uncertain terms, told her that she was not to approach the woman. She had complied but only because he had caught her about to disobey that command and go to Shepard and had intervened, threatening her with negative reviews in her file and a possible end to her participation here. She couldn't risk not being able to win him back.

She had never had such issue getting over someone before, but she had wanted Garrus to be her mate. She had spent hours imagining a life with him. Hell, they were just fun fantasy until he had boldly rejected her. She had never been rejected by someone she wanted to have a serious relationship with before. She was supposed to be the desirable one. She was the one who always got what she wanted. She didn't like rejection and for a while she was determined to try and make it obvious to him that he was better off with her rather than that flesh bag.

She had failed though, at every turn she had failed. If anything Garrus seemed more apt to spend time with Shepard than ever before. She truly didn't understand it and quite frankly it made her even more angry.

Her anger was controlling her and she knew it but she couldn't quite bring herself to care. She had started to tell anyone who would listen about how much she hated the Commander and how they were better off before she came back. Most just brushed her off, but some listened. They listened and they planned. She knew that if she continued to behave this way that Garrus would have her removed from her post so she had to put her plans into motion quickly.

She knew what would bring Garrus back to her arms, she knew what was keeping him from her. All she needed to do was remove Shepard from the equation and she would have her Turian General again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Just a short chapter to get back into the flow of this story - I'm sorry I've been so absent! I promise to be better about it now that the writing mood is back!**

Shepard had finally decided enough was enough and ventured out into the camp headed for Hackett's office. She needed to start doing _something_ or she was going to go insane. She knew Garrus wouldn't necessarily be 100% on board with her plan, so she kept him out of the loop. But she had told Fallon where he could find her if he wanted to join her for lunch.

Venturing out of the complex, Shepard tried to avoid the heated glares of a group of young turians that were milling around near the supply crates. They were with that female that Shepard suspected Garrus had been sleeping with while she was presumed dead. She tried, she really did, to not let it bother her. She had discussed it with her therapist on numerous occasions... But she couldn't shake the feeling that her and the woman were going to have it out one way or another before long.

Well, she would just have to make sure she ended the female before she was allowed to remove Garrus from her. She doubted Garrus would go for the woman in the off chance that she had succeeded and Shepard died, but she was still determined to make sure that Garrus didn't have to go through that loss again.

Lost in her own thoughts, Shepard barely had time to react to the footsteps behind her. She went to duck and roll and was preparing a biotic assault when she felt a prick at her neck. Before she had fully about faced her world went dark and sound faded from register.

* * *

Venaea chuckled as she watched the Commander go down. They had timed this all so perfectly that there was no one in the yard when they finally made their assault. She had a merc transport ready and waiting to take the bitch off of the planet and a story to go along with it.

The great Commander Shepard had abandoned her mate after another nervous breakdown and was off to join some merc squad.

She knew it was feeble at best, but with how Shepard had been going to therapy lately... Well, she assumed that it would pass for the best possible outcome. Eventually Shepard's body would be found mutilated on some backwater planet and she could step in to comfort Garrus... Maybe even start to take care of that little colony-less brat that called Shepard "mom". That was until she convinced Garrus to start a family of their own. Then the brat can scram.

She had her troop place Shepard in a crate and signaled for them to get a move on towards the space port.

* * *

Fallon had gone to Hackett's office to meet his mom for lunch, but when he got there she wasn't waiting for him. He waited for Hackett to get out of whatever meeting he was with and asked the grizzled man about his mom.

She had never been here. This wasn't like her.

Fallon didn't even wait for an explanation as he raced across the base to Garrus' office. Maybe he was with his mom!

Without so much as a curtesy nod to the secretary he burst through Garrus' door. Garrus seemed surprised and didn't even get a chance to get annoyed with the kid for interrupting his call to the Primarch when Fallon had started with a million and one jumbled questions regarding his mom. Within seconds Garrus had rudely hung up on the Primarch, grabbed Fallon and was rushing out the door while ordering his secretary to get the Alliance Military Police to the courtyard as soon as possible.

Fallon clung to Garrus as the older man took charge, he was glad Garrus was here otherwise he wouldn't have known where to start looking for his mom.

* * *

Garrus was beside himself. Shepard, Eva, was missing. It didn't take him long to pin point who would have access to her, who knew she was at this base, and who would have the desire to remove her from the picture.

As Garrus stormed his way into the courtyard the MPs were already waiting for him. Even Hackett had been notified and was waiting for him.

Garrus' suspicions were confirmed when all of Venaea's squad was there minus the troublemakers and Venaea herself. He growled harshly when he looked towards the MPs and began barking out orders to canvas the area, to check every warehouse, check the spaceport and to find Venaea and her team and bring them back to him.

In all of his anger, Garrus still held onto Fallon. He comforted the kid when he could and refused to let anyone else take charge of him while Garrus mounted the rescue. He only hoped Eva hadn't lost much of her combat ability due to her therapy sessions, he knew she had been keeping up with her drills... He prayed to the spirits that she would escape before Venaea's plan, whatever it was, was brought to fruition.

* * *

Shepard was groggy, horridly so. She counted herself lucky on many occasions that her Cerberus upgrades allowed her to metabolize toxins much faster than a normal human – something that her captors had apparently not known.

She looked around and only saw muffled light, she was in a crate of some sort. _Stupid fucking bitch!_ Shepard thought viciously. The woman was going to try and ship her off somewhere!

Like hell.

Shepard, with little regard to who was around her, let out a biotic push strong enough to shatter the plastic crate around her and push any surrounding crates out of her way. She stood shakily in the back of the truck she had apparently been in and stared at a very startled turian.

He was with _her._ Shepard wasted no time stalking up to the man and decking him in the face as hard as she could muster. He sputtered and cursed and then raised the alarm for the rest of the "crew". Only three plus Venaea, Shepard could handle this.

News reached Garrus that there had been a crazed biotic let loose on one of the supply roads going to the spaceport and he directed all of their efforts towards that road. It was her, it had to be. He wasn't even concerned if Shepard killed Venaea, he would do it himself if she didn't get to it!

Jumping into a shuttle, Fallon and Garrus sped off in the direction of the disturbance. Garrus hoped that they could get there in time in case Venaea had gotten more friends.


End file.
